Unfortunate Events
by ifyouknew
Summary: Clary Fairchild and Jace Herondale are not what you'd call the best of friends. When their English teacher decides to partner the class up for the rest of the year, and Clary gets Jace, they're forced to see each other a lot more than they want to. New friendships are made, sarcasm fills the place, books are thrown over Jace's head. (Clace & other ships, AH. Chapter 1 edited.)
1. Chapter 1

**[EDITED]**

**A/N: Hey, you guys! I'm Marianna and this is my first fanfic, or at least the first fanfic I've posted here. **

**Some people might be OOC to fit the character I've planned them to be. I'm warning you. ;)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Mortal Instruments, Cassandra Clare does. I wish I owned Jace, though. The things I would do ;). Did that sound creepy? Especially with that wink?**

_Clary_

"Simon!" I yell. "Stop fixing your hair! We'll be late!" That idiot, I'm never giving him a ride again. If he doesn't stop acting like a pageant queen, then I don't know what I'm going to do.

"But it's Thursday! I have English with Isabelle today!" he yells back. I sigh. He's had a crush on Isabelle Lightwood since sixth grade. I don't blame him. With her long, black hair and her stunning dark brown eyes, it's not that hard. The boys are all over her.

"I'm not waiting! Get your funky ass into my car, _now_!" Okay, that was probably a little more crude that it should have been. I _am _moody when I'm late.

"How can an ass be funky?" Oh, so _now _he decides to be literal.

"Just get in!"

"Fine!" Well, _that _went well.

I hear his house's door open and close with a loud _bang_. He jogs to my car (which is weird on its own, since he hates anything associated with running), opens the door and sits in the front.

"Happy now?" he says, frustrated.

I take a look at his hair. His fringe is covering his forehead, as if he just had a tattoo there and doesn't want his mother to know it. Not that _that _would ever happen. I could swear that Mrs Lewis has eyes on the back of her head. She notices everyone and everything.

"Your hair looks fine," I comment.

"Thanks," he responds and looks out the window.

His frustration doesn't seem to last long, since a minute after we left his house he starts talking excitedly. "Did you hear?"

"I _did _hear, Simon." I decide to be a sarcastic little prick, something I always do when I'm bored. Correction, something I always do, in general. "I heard the radio, I heard_ you_, I heard your mother talking on the phone with mine and asking her if we're dating." Okay, that last bit didn't happen. But I want to see his expression. He makes the most over-dramatic faces sometimes.

"Wh—what?!" he splutters, blinking repeatedly. "Are you messing with me?"

"Nope," I pop the _p_, shrugging with one shoulder. I drum my fingers on the steering wheel before continuing. "I think we should, actually. We'd make the cutest kids _ever_." Oh, I absolutely _love _messing with him. It's so entertaining.

"Clary!" he scolds me, before he raises his eyebrows. "You _are _messing with me."

"Or am I?" I gasp, taking one hand of the wheel so I can put it over my heart dramatically.

"Yep. You're just my crazy best friend." He shakes his head and rolls his eyes, but a smile occupies his lips while doing so.

"And you're my _nerdy_ crazy best friend," I laugh.

"And you're my _geeky _nerdy crazy best friend," he shoots back teasingly. Oh, I've got the perfect comeback.

"Are you implying that I bite off chicken heads? 'Cause that's what a geek is." Yep. Two whole days with my head glued to a computer screen gave me that information. Thank you, _Urban Dictionary_!

"You've always liked kinky stuff—" I punch his arm (and quite harshly, may I say) before he can finish his sentence. "_Ow_, woman!"

"Shut up and let me drive."

After another five minutes of being impossibly annoying to each other, we arrive at Alicante High School. I park at an empty spot, motioning to Simon to leave the car. It just so happens that Jace Herondale, the school's proclaimed "hot guy" (proclaimed by the other girls, don't get any ideas), is parking at the same time. Simon walks out of the car, practically running (oh, the horror, he's running) out of it; he doesn't seem to want to see Jace, but then again, who does? Oh, wait, the entire female population of the school, except me and very few others, like Jaida Jones and Maia Roberts. While appealing to the eye, with long, blonde curls framing his face, a pair of golden eyes, and pale skin, he's sort of a demon. An English demon, to be exact.

"Oh, won't you look at that," he says in his English accent (which I grudgingly admit to find rather nice),"if it isn't Strawberry Shortcake." He smirks.

"You thought of that, what, five years ago? It's getting old, Rapunzel," I respond. Damn, I need to work on my comebacks. Um... Blondie? Legally Blond? No, Elle Woods! Better yet, Reese Witherspoon!

I'm so lame sometimes.

"As you wish. Pippi Longstockings? Wait, I got it. Ginny Weasley," he suggests, a smug look forming on his face. "I enjoy making up nicknames for you."

I groan. "Whatever."

"Later, Ginny," he says and jumps out of his convertible. He makes his way to the school gate, and I follow shortly after. _Ginny_. As if that is insulting. Ginny was great.

I have English now. But he sits behind me. It's going to be a long hour. Ugh.

"Good morning class, sorry I'm late!" Mr Morgenstern says as he enters the classroom. He leaves a pile of paper sheets on his desk. "So, I'm already twenty minutes late, because I have been quite busy." If busy means making out with Miss Fray in the janitor's closet. Seriously, the whole school knows about it. "I'm going to assign you partners, and you're going to get together and do projects. That'll be your only homework for the year." Insert mental happy dance here. "The first project is this sheet of questions, so you can get to know each other." Aw, really? I would have never guessed! Note the sarcasm. "Camille, please give everybody a sheet." Camille Belcourt stands up and walks to the desk. She grabs the papers and starts giving them. When she gets to Jace, she winks at him and licks her lips. He just rolls his eyes. I have to admit, that was entertaining. Camille's been with 3/4 of the class, and someone turning her down doesn't happen often. Especially Jace. I thought he liked the attention, and even more when it came from pretty girls like Camille. I mean, look at her; blonde hair, charming green eyes. Like Jace, she's pretty, but a demon.

After Camille is done, our teacher begins calling the pairs.

"Aline Penhallow and Helen Blackthorn. Camille Belcourt and Theresa Gray." Poor Tessa. She's actually a really nice girl, and Camille's the female devil, as I mentioned previously. "Magnus Bane and Alexander Lightwood." I see Magnus smirk; it's no secret he likes Alec. How wouldn't he? Alec is Isabelle's twin brother, so it's no surprise that he's handsome. He's got black hair, like his sister, and striking blue eyes. If Magnus doesn't ask him out, I'll probably smack the top of his head. Really, they should date. "Isabelle Lightwood and Simon Lewis." Well, there's a reason for Simon to fangirl now! "Maia Roberts and Jordan Kyle. Seelie Queen and Sebastian Verlac." Sebastian glances at me with disappointment. I shrug it off. I probably just thought he looked at me. I make things up, honestly. "Clarissa Fairchild and Jace Herondale." Wait, what?! "There will be no exchanges. Have fun for the rest of the school year." No. Nope. I refuse to believe that happened. Nuh-uh. I know I'm acting like a kid, but this can't be happening.

Jace leans in and whispers, "Just your luck. You'll see me every day for the rest of the year. Which is about two hundred and ten days." Damn, couldn't Mr Morgenstern make us do this in April or something? But no, he has to schedule it during October. Yep, I'm _so _lucky, note the sarcasm again!

"Didn't know you could count," I say sarcastically.

"There are things you don't know about me," he mumbles. His breath feels hot in my neck, and it's making me uncomfortable.

The bell rings, and I let out a sigh of relief as he moves away from me. I start packing my bag. He packs his, too and waits next to my desk.

"What do you want?" I ask him.

"It's due tomorrow," he says. "Where are we meeting?"

"Who said we're meeting?"

"We can't answer if we don't. You'd have to give me your phone, and I don't think you would like that."

I sigh for the third time today. What's up with me sighing all the time?

"Fine. But not my place, my mother will freak out."

"Then, mine, if it can't be any other away. I'll give you a ride," he suggests.

"Whoa, two full minutes and no insult? That has to be a new record!" I exclaim sarcastically, faking a shocked look.

"I'm saving it for later."

"Whatever."

I stand up, nodding to him. He nods back and walks with his friends to the cafeteria. I exit and spot Simon standing by my locker, beaming and probably in the verge of squealing.

"I bet you're super excited to be with Isabelle," I laugh.

"And I bet you want to slap Mr Morgenstern," he says, completely serious.

"The only one I want to slap is Jace."

He looks at me and after a second, he starts laughing.

"Good luck with Mr Pretty Face. Oh, and Clary?" 

"What?"

"Verlac is staring at this direction."

**A/N: Remember, things are not what they seem... No, really, it's not what it seems to be.**

**Anyone who reviews gets a shout-out.**

**-Marianna (ifyouknew)**

**[EDITED]**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Oh, heavens! I log onto my account today, and what do I see? NINE FREAKING REVIEWS. You guys are awesome. As I promised, here are my shout-outs and answers to what you asked.**

**Guest - It wasn't that hard, really, it just kind of popped into my mind and it wouldn't leave. Thanks for the review, hope you like this chapter!**

**MI cra cra: *SPOILER ALERT* He is not going to be a rapist, trust me. You'll see why he was acting like that in this chapter. And Miss Fray **_**is **_**just some teacher, her mother is called Fairchild and her first name is Jocelyn, Miss Fray's first name is Madeleine, I know it's Bellefleur in the books, but hey, it's fanfiction. I can twist them. Thanks for the idea and the review, hope you like this chapter!**

**xojessica36: Glad you liked it! Thanks for the review, hope you like this chapter!**

**LOVERGIRL: Here's the update! Thanks for the review, hope you like this chapter!**

**Mildred: *SPOILER ALERT* He isn't a rapist. You'll see why he was acting like that in this chapter. Thanks for the review, hope you like this chapter!**

**Heather Ramesy: Glad you liked it! Thanks for the review, hope you like this chapter!**

**ShortAndTempered: Here's the update. Glad you liked it! Thanks for the review, hope you like this chapter!**

**memeg: Glad you liked it! Here's the update! Thanks for the review, hope you like this chapter!**

**Wilhelm Wigworthy: I'm flattered, glad you liked it! Thanks for the review, hope you like this chapter!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Mortal Instruments, Cassandra Clare does. And if I **_**did **_**own TMI, I wouldn't be here. Duh.**

_Clary_

"Verlac? You mean Sebastian?" I ask.

"How many Verlacs do we know?" he asks sarcastically.

"You need to get your glasses checked. Idiot." I unlock my locker and push my schoolbag in. "Let's go."

_Jace_

I walk to the cafeteria with Sebastian, Jordan and Jonathan. Damn Mr Morgenstern and his ideas. Now I'm stuck with Fairchild for the rest of the year.

"Jace?" Sebastian pokes my arm.

"What?"

"So..." he begins. "You're with Fairchild in English, huh?"

"Why, do you have a thing for her? I saw you glancing at her in English class, and now you were staring at her. You're not fooling anyone, mate."

"Oh, shut up. I wasn't looking at her. I was looking at the hot guy next to her. You know, the one she sits next to in English? The one she was talking to before? Glasses? Tall?" 

"Who? Lewis?" I ask. "He's not hot at all, you know. You can do better." And, believe me, he _can_ do better. But Lewis isn't gay or bisexual, like Sebastian, so I doubt anything will ever happen. Let alone the fact that he's got it bad for Fairchild. Poor Sebastian can't win this.

"Why, you jealous?" he mocks.

"Shut your mouth."

"Nope. Now let's get Fairchild off my future boyfriend!" he points to Fairchild and Lewis. _Yeah, right, future boyfriend._

"Oh, come on. I've had enough of her face for a day", I whine. But she probably wants to see me. Who doesn't?

"But..."

"Let's just sit and we'll talk about it."

"Yes!" Sebastian whisper-shouts.

We find a random table and sit. I grab an apple from my schoolbag and bite it. I'd leave it in my locker, but I was too distracted by my horrible luck to open it.

"So... What're we gonna do?" Sebastian asks.

"How about... Jace steals something from her, and she chases him around to get it, and you have alone time with Simon?" Jonathan chimes in.

"Let's not forget you owe me", Sebastian tells me. "Unless you want me to tell them about who you had a crush on when we were 14..."

Wait... that was when I liked older women... oh, no.

"Okay, okay! I'm in!" I give up. It's too embarassing.

"Do it."

The bell rings, saving me.

"Sorry. The bell. You'll get your time with your one true love tomorrow", I mock.

_Clary_

It's already the end of the day, and Jace approaches me with a smirk. A crowd of girls, maybe seven or eight, are walking behind him.

"Ready to go, _love_?" he asks. _Love_? I'm gonna kill him. The girls give me dirty looks and leave, whispering into each other's ears.

"Jace!" I shout. "What was that?"

"Relax, I wanted Kaelie and the others off me for a second!"

"Isn't Kaelie that girl from the grade below us?" I ask.

"Yes, a total pain in the a..." he bites his lip, "posterior."

I hold back a laugh. Simon appears.

"Jace." He nods.

"Didn't catch your name there, Silas was it?" Jace smirks. He's obviously mocking him.

"It's Simon, actually. I don't blame you. With your lack of a brain you wouldn't remember", Simon smirks back.

"Ooooh, burn!" I laugh.

"I have to admit it, your boyfriend has a sense of humour there!" Jace raises his shoulders. _Boyfriend_? What _boyfriend_? Does he think...?

"Simon's not my boyfriend!" I yell.

"Does he know that?" Jace winks.

"Shut up", Simon and I say at the same time.

"Not gonna happen any time soon. Get in the car, Ginny... no. I'll change it again. How about... Goodie-two-shoes?" he laughs.

"Old."

"Count Nerdula?"

"Idiotic."

"Then, maybe, I'll just call you..."

"Just call me Clary!" I shout. "Cla-ry, it's two syllables, is it that hard?"

"Clary. Now, that's something I never considered."

"Clary, then?" I ask. Hopefully...

"No."

Damn.

"You are..."

"Perfect? Yeah, I know", he cuts me off.

"I was gonna say a scumbag."

"Tsk tsk. How low of you."

"Shut it, Herondale."

On the way there, Jace is silent, as if he has something to hide. When we arrive, I gasp at his house. It's huge. It's painted white. The windows are large and the door is wooden. There's a garden, and there's a variety of plants. Red roses, daisies, the typical girly flowers. They must be his mother's. He comes out of the car and walks to the door. I follow shortly after. He opens the door and waits at the side. I walk inside, muttering a "thank you". I look around. About three metres away from me, on my left, there are three blood red armchairs surrounding a small wooden table. A fireplace stands behind them. The white walls are decorated with paintings. I suppose they're paintings of the Herondales; they all have Jace's golden eyes.

"Upstairs", he mumbles. and goes up the stairs. I follow him. It's going to be one long afternoon.

**A/N: See? Sebastian's not a rapist. TOLD YA. I am so sorry that's it's short. Till next time,**

**Marianna (ifyouknew)**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: *fangirl squeal* YOU GUYS! 17 reviews, 12 favorites, 23 followers and 581 views?! Thank you guys so much! You make my day! Shout-outs and answers:**

**younge0508: He hates Clary. He thinks she's stealing Simon from him. Thanks for the review, hope you like this chapter!**

**MI cra cra: Yeah, I know, it would be strange if they **_**did **_**get funky. Thanks for the questions, also, I think I've read it, is it **_**Battle of the Bands **_**by simplymoshingintomordor? I loved it. Especially the part you mentioned:**

_**Clary: **_**FINE, I'LL REPOPULATE EARTH WITH YOU!**

_***bedroom door opens***_

_**Valentine: **_**You'll do what?!**

_***few minutes later***_

_**Valentine: **_**Your project is to repopulate the earth?! This would have never happened in Switzerland!**

**Seriously, it was so cool. Again, thanks for the questions! Thanks for the review, hope you like this chapter!**

**TheEternalDaylightingRanger: For that, you'll have to wait and see... MWAHAHAHAHA I'M EVIL. Thanks for the compliment, it means so much to me. Thanks for the review, hope you like this chapter!**

**AlecTheUnicorn: *SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT* It's not Jocelyn. Also, I removed Sizzy from the summary, I don't know where it's heading, so I might give Sebimon (thanks for the ship name by the way) a shot. Who knows, maybe Simon is bisexual. There might be a Sebimon moment in the next chapter *wink*. Thanks for the review, hope you like this chapter!**

**Guest (I don't know if it's the same one as before, so maybe you could sign with a penname?): Hehe, who knew there would be Sebimon shippers... You're gonna like the next chapter if you're one of them. Also, you're welcome. Thanks for the review, hope you like this chapter!**

**LOVERGIRL: Tada, the update! You're welcome! Thanks for the review, hope you like this chapter!**

**Lilietje99: I don't know if it's the first, but it just kinda popped in my head that Seb should be gay and like Simon, who knows why? I'm crazy. Thanks a lot. Thanks for the review, hope you like this chapter!**

**xojessica36: Awe, thanks! Thanks for the review, hope you like this chapter!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Mortal Instruments, Harry Potter, the Raven or Attica.**

I expect to see a normal teenager's room when I get in. You know, CDs and clothes all over the place, coloured walls, messy in general. But Jace's is nothing like that. His walls are_ white_ and the room is immaculate. A wooden desk stands next to a bookcase. There's a bed opposite from them. There's also a closet, why wouldn't there be a closet, I'm so stupid.

"Let's start, maybe?" Jace interrupts my thoughts. "And get this over with quickly."

"Sure", I reply.

"So... Get your sheet out."

"Okay."

I wait until I see where he leaves his backpackand I leave mine there, too. I grab my folder and get the sheet of questions out. He also takes it and hands me a pen.

"How about you ask the questions?" he suggests. "And then we both answer and write them down."

"Uh, yeah, sure." I sneak a peek in the questions. "First question, not really a question but anyway, name."

"Jonathan Christopher Herondale." Wait, what?

"Your name is Jonathan Christopher?" I ask.

"Last time I checked it was", he answers saracastically.

"Then, where does Jace come from?"

"My initials. J and C make JC, but that sounds like Jacey, which sounds girly. Where as Jace doesn't."

"Sure." I write his name down. "Clarissa Fairchild." He writes it. "Next. If you could be any person of the opposite gender in the world, who would you be and why?"

"I'd have to say J. K. Rowling", he answers. "She's one of the best writers in the world, if not the best. People idolise her, she cares about others, she's not stuck-up, she's perfect."

I write down his answer. Jace Herondale actually said something that wasn't arrogant. Alert the media.

"I'd be Edgar Allan Poe, because he was a great poet and he was very intelligent."

"Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered weak and weary/ Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore/ While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping/ As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door./ `'Tis some visitor,' I muttered, `tapping at my chamber door -/ Only this, and nothing more.' " Jace quotes _The Raven_. Wait. Jace just quoted _The Raven_.

"You like Edgar Allan Poe?" I ask with disbelief.

"He was great." He nods and writes my answer.

"Next... What's your favorite color?" Oh, goodness. _That _question. Let me hide behind Voldemort.

"Black."

"Black? I thought you were going to say gold."

"Just 'cause I'm the description of Golden Boy? Gold's just too... open, like it's got nothing to hide. Black's mysterious, hidden in the dark, somehow." Wow, Jace Herondale is being deep. Again, the media! "Not to mention black suits me like nothing does. Well, everything suits me, I'm Jace Herondale, for goodness' sake, but black's better." Oh, here's the arrogant ass again.

"Riiiight. I like... white. It's pure and innocent and angelic. Next. What is your favorite animal?"

"The dog. It's loyal and it's always waiting for you."

"The cat. It doesn't need you to do anything and it's just pure cuteness. Next. What's your favorite book?"

"I think it's quite obvious it's the _Harry Potter _series." He gives me a "duh" look.

"I like _Attica_ by Garry Kilworth. What's your character's best feature?"

"I like your eyes", he says, like it's the most obvious thing in the world. _My eyes?_

"My eyes?"

"Uh, yes, your eyes. Do I need a reason? There's always something you like on a person."

"I like the tiny chip on your front tooth. It just ruins the whole 'I'm flawless' thing."

"Oh, please, it just adds two points to my hotness." Oh, come on.

"Yeah, right. Next question, if you and your partner were the last people on earth, would you repopulate with them?"Oh, lord.

"I would. The kids would be perfect. I'd be their father, that's why." I see him shiver at the word _father_. I wonder why. "Don't bother answering. I know already. 'Well, since it would be the only logical thing to do...' " he imitates my voice.

"I do not speak like that. And yes, for your information, it _would _be the only logical thing to do."

"So that's a yes."

"Next!" I blurt out. I'm already embarassed. "Oh, wait. We're done."

The door opens loudly, to reveal a pale, golden-haired man, with an empty beer bottle on his hand. He opens his mouth to speak, and then he notices me.

"JONATHAN, WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT BRINGING GIRLS?!" he shouts.

"Father..." Jace tries to explain. _Father? _Is that Stephen?! "You're... you're home early."

"NO FATHERS TO ME! GET THE LITTLE MISS OUT OF MY HOUSE, AND I'LL SHOW YOU FOR DISOBEYING MY RULES!" Stephen screams.

"Yes, father." Jace puts his head down. He looks at me. "Get your bag." I nod and grab my piece of paper and my schoolbag. He walks me outside.

When we're finally out, I gather the courage to talk to him.

"Jace..." I begin.

"What? You realise how messed up my father is and you're all sympathetic?"

"No, it's just..."

"It's what, Clary, it's what? Get in the car. "

I nod. And while I keep thinking about Stephen and Jace through the whole ride, I'm thinking about something else too.

_He called me Clary._

**A/N: So, Stephen is an ass to Jace. Poor Jace. I hope you liked this chapter. He finally calls her Clary, yes! So, if you're wondering about the color question and Voldemort, most people I know hate the color question. And that's why. Thanks to MI cra cra for question ideas. **

**Marianna (ifyouknew)**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I am so, so, sorry I didn't update in 3 days! I am such an idiot. But, seriously, WE REACHED 1416 VIEWS! AND 25 REVIEWS! AND 38 FOLLOWERS! AND 19 FAVORITES! AND I HAVE TO STOP SCREAMING! Okay. Also, WARNING: SEBIMON MOMENT IN THIS CHAPTER *squeals*! I am such a shipper. Shout-outs and answers (as usual):**

**Rose: Tada! Update! To answer your question, Stephen acts like this for multiple reasons. One is his drinking. The others, you'll have to wait and see. Thanks for the review, hope you like this chapter!**

**TheEternalDaylightingRanger: Haha, it's okay, I mean, a review is a review, no matter when you get it! Thanks for the compliment! Also, about Stephen, everybody knows him because he was a former Biology teacher. He left on Clary's 8th year for unspecified reasons, which Clary now believes was his drinking. Thanks for the review, hope you like this chapter!**

**faith1216: Thanks for the compliment! Here's the next chapter! Yay! Thanks for the review, hope you like this chapter!**

**younge0508: The questions are weird, and you're gonna figure out why they were so weird at some point of the story. Maybe in Valentine's POV. If I ever write that. Or maybe Valentine thought they would make the students bond. Or maybe Valentine wrote the questions down in the middle of the night when he couldn't think straight. Who knows. I can't think straight in the middle of the night either, so, yeah. You'll figure it out. So, you want Valentine as your teacher? That's cool. Maybe he's actually cooler than most teachers. Who knows. Thanks for the review, hope you like this chapter!**

**AlecTheUnicorn: Yeah, really crappy home life. I kinda feel sorry for him. And I'm all guilty now, because **_**I'm **_**the one that made him have a crappy home life. I am so terrible :(. And yes, he **_**is **_**going to be kinda cocky in this chapter, but not in the start. And really? You actually liked their answers? Gosh, thank you so much. I thought they were going to suck, but thankfully they didn't. And I want to give poor Jace a hug too. And maybe punch Stephen. And also, SEBIMON IN THIS FREAKING CHAPTER! I'M SO EXCITED! Thanks for the review, hope you like this chapter!**

**ZoroKim: Awe, thanks! Harry Potter is one of my favorite book series, so I just had to put them in. Glad you liked them! So, I present you *drum roll*... THE NEXT CHAPTER! Yay! Thanks for the review, hope you like this chapter!**

**LOVERGIRL: I'm so glad you liked it! Thanks for the review, hope you like this chapter!**

**xojessica36: Yay, glad you liked it! Thanks for the review, hope you like this chapter!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Jace. FML. And I don't own The Mortal Instruments either. Again, FML.**

_Clary_

I've known Stephen since he teached in my Biology class. He left for unknown reasons, maybe his drinking. Now he's just... an alcoholic who probably beats up his kid.

Jace drops me off, not saying a single word. But I don't plan on leaving it that way.

"Jace?" I break the silence. He turns his head to face me. His face is blank. Not a single drop of emotion.

"Do me a favour", his voice reaches my ears cold, like ice. "You don't tell anyone about what you saw in there."

"Don't you want to get help? For all I know, he could be burning you with a cigarette!" I snap at him, clearly disgusted by his father.

"Don't speak about my father like that!" he raises his hand, and I move back in fear, only to realize he's just grabbing my wrist. "You... you thought I... I was going to hit you?"

I don't speak at all. I just gulp.

"Glad to know you think of me that way."

"Jace..."

"Your mother's at the door. You should probably get going."

I can apologize. I can say something. But I just nod, get out of the car and walk to my mother. He shoots me a glance and drives off.

My mother says something, but I'm too distracted to hear her.

"Clary? Clary!" she interrupts my thoughts.

"What?"

"Why were you with Stephen's son?"

"His name is Jace, mom." Normally, I wouldn't have said this.

"You know about the boy's reputation with girls, Clary. I don't want you to get hurt."

"Mom, English class. We had homework together. And I'll have to meet up with him for the rest of the year. I promise, nothing happened." I raise my hands for effect.

"Okay, I trust you. Just be careful, please."

"Yes, mom."

I walk to my room and lie flat on the bed. Jace hates me. And I hate him. So why can't I take his face when his father threatened him out of my mind? _Because you're a caring person, Clary, that's why_, a voice in my head tries to calm me down. Yeah, that's probably why.

_TIME LAPSE: NEXT DAY_

_Simon_

"Clary? Clary, are you listening to a word I'm saying?" I slap Clary's arm, waking her up from her daydream.

"Of course I am!"

"What was I talking about?"

"How it's so unfair that Luke and Leia are siblings because they're just the perfect couple." And that's exactly what I was talking about. Damn.

"You win this time, Fairchild."

"Don't I always?"

"Guess who's approaching, code red, code red!" It's The Jerk himself. And he's not far.

"He's not coming for me, Simon." She rolls her eyes.

"Ah, yes he is. There."

He's behind her.

"Lewis." He rolls his eyes.

"Herondale." I gulp.

"Ginny, can I steal you for a second?"

"Still calling me Ginny?" She looks disappointed. I can't blame her. She hates nicknames. "Oh, well. Why not?"

They get up before I can even blink. And then, Verlac approaches me with a smirk.

"Hey, Simon." What does he want now?

"Look, I don't know what your problem is, but keep your filthy little paws of Clary. You and Herondale. Okay?" I snap at him.

"I don't care about Fairchild. I think it's obvious I don't care about girls."

He's admitting to being gay? To _me_? What am I, some kind of diary?

"And... I believe men are much better company. Don't you?" I don't answer. Mostly because I can't really choose. I'm bisexual. And I can't tell him, because he's probably mocking me.

"Look, Verlac..."

"It's Sebastian."

"Fine, _Sebastian_. If you could just leave, I'd be grateful. Okay?" I ask. It's just too awkward.

"No person has ever rejected me. You're a tough one, aren't you?" he says. Wait. _Rejected_? So, this whole time that I thought he was staring at Clary, he was staring at _me_? "You'll see. You want this", he gestures to his body, "don't lie to yourself. Maybe this will help you figure it out."

He leans in and presses his lips to mine. And I just stand there.

_Clary_

Jace drags me into the janitor's closet. Although it's dark, I can still understand the shapes of the cleaning products. It smells like chlorine in here.

"What do you want?" I demand, trying not to look at him. I don't want to see him.

"To leave Sebastian alone with Lewis."

"Please tell me you're not pranking him."

"Uh, we're not. Sebastian's actually planning on revealing his sexuality today, and..." His sexuality? Is he gay? "he wants everybody to find out with a... way that involves Lewis", he coughs, but I know he's just covering up a laugh.

"He's going to kiss Simon?!" I exclaim. I slap his arm. "You idiot! You're just mocking him because he's bise..." Oh, no. Simon doesn't want anybody to know yet! And I just blurted it out to _Jace_.

"He's _what_?" he asks. "Hold on. Lewis is bisexual?"

"Don't tell him I told you. He'll murder me", I beg.

"Whoa, don't worry. We made a deal. You keep my secret, and I keep yours. I won't tell him _you _told me. Okay?" he gives me his hand.

"Okay. Thank you." I hold his hand and shake it. His handshake is firm, as if he wants to rip off my arm, and his hand is ice-cold, like his voice yesterday. Dammit, _stop thinking about yesterday, Clary._

"Now, I guess it's over. We can leave."

"Why did you have to bring me here? I mean, couldn't your friend just kiss Simon in front of me?"

"Are you kidding me? You would have punched him!"

I don't say anything, mostly because it's true. I just nod in agreement.

_Simon_

He breaks the kiss, and I let my jaw drop.

"What the hell?" I exclaim. I stand up and storm out of the cafeteria. Damn. Is he an idiot? You don't go kissing people like that! I should have punched him. That asshole!

"Simon!" I hear a voice. I turn my head to find Clary. She runs to me.

"What?"

"Did Verlac kiss you?"

"Yes." I gulp. "How did you know?"

"Jace told me", she explains.

"So, he knew! Well, anyway, they're both assholes, so, what do you expect from them?" I shrug.

The bell rings.

"C'mon. We have English now", I elbow her softly, waking her up from another daydream. "Wait. I didn't do my hair today!"

"Yeah, you and Isabelle match. You both freak out when you remember you haven't done your hair."

"Shut up."

_Jace_

Mr Morgenstern rushes into the classroom, and guess what? He's late, again. _Busy_, huh? For a forty-something that looks like a ghost with white-blonde hair, the dude's got one hell of a love life.

"Morning, class!" he greets us.

"Good morning, Mr Morgenstern!" the class shouts in union.

"Did you all bring your homework?" he asks. "Good. Now, I want partners to sit by each other and I'm going to assign you a project just for this lesson. You still have homework, though. It's due next week. Okay. Now, back to today. Find your partner and go sit next to him."

Clary (why did I start calling her Clary?) stands up and sits to the now-empty seat next to me. She doesn't say a single word. I don't expect her to.

When everybody else was seated, our teacher began talking again.

"Now, you have to write a poem about your partner."

Oooh, this is going to be fun.

**A/N: Phew. Here's your chapter. I think it's the longest one, correct me if I'm wrong. Okay, I'll try to update tomorrow. I accept criticism. Bye.**

**Marianna (ifyouknew)**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: You probably think I'm a "something that rhymes with ducking glass mole", to quote our dear Cassandra. I've just been really, really busy and I'm very sorry. On top of that, I got my period and I couldn't write, since all inspiration was lost and I was stuck eating chocolate all day and mumbling about men having it easy. So, yeah. If you're a girl, LET US CRY TOGETHER. I wanted to ask you guys if my grammar is okay, since English is not my native language, Greek is. I mean, I could get a beta if it isn't, what do you think? Shout-outs &amp; answers:**

**xthemortalinstrumentsx: Glad you liked it! Thanks for the review, hope you like this chapter!**

**AlecTheUnicorn: Glad you liked it! Thanks for the review, hope you like this chapter!**

**ravenwalker321: Glad you liked it! Thanks for the review, hope you like this chapter!**

**Rose: TADA! Update! Oh, and to answer your question: natural instincts. If **_**you **_**were about to get hit, or so you thought, wouldn't you move back? I know **_**I **_**would. Thanks for the review, hope you like this chapter!**

**faith1216: Glad you liked it! Thanks for the review, hope you like this chapter!**

**Guest (the one that reviewd before faith1216): Glad you liked it! Thanks for the review, hope you like this chapter!**

**StillSleepingBy: Glad you liked it! Thanks for the review, hope you like this chapter!**

**MI cra cra: YOU'RE BACK! I MISSED YOU! Your poems were really funny, you know. To be honest, I thought you didn't like the chapter and that's why you didn't review, you almost killed me there, dude! I mean, I love my reviewers /readers/favouriters/followers so much, and losing one is depressing. Luckily, you're back. Thank you! Also, Seb is actually bisexual. I don't think that I ever wrote he was going to beat up Simon. And, yeah, Battle of the Bands was so cool. It was one of these fanfics that you just can't stop reading. Thanks for the review, hope you like this chapter!**

**Guest (the one that reviewed before MI cra cra): Glad you liked it! Thanks for the review, hope you like this chapter!**

**Guest (the one that said "Me gusta"): Glad you liked it! Thanks for the review, hope you like this chapter!**

**Guest (the one that reviewed before the Guest that said "Me gusta"): Glad you liked it! Thanks for the review, hope you like this chapter!**

**TheEternalDaylightingRanger: Yeah, Valentine's really cool. I wish I had a teacher like that when I was still a schoolgirl. And yeah, Simon's bisexual. I don't know if it's gonna be Sebimon or Sizzy in the end, though. Which one is your money on? Okay, so... Thanks for the review, hope you like this chapter!**

**cathjacemaddian: Glad you liked it! Thanks for the review, hope you like this chapter!**

**LOVERGIRL: Tada! Update! Thanks for the review, hope you like this chapter!**

**Guest (the one that reviewed before LOVERGIRL): Glad you liked it! Thanks for the review, hope you like this chapter!**

**xojessica36: Here's the update! Woo-hoo! Thanks for the review, hope you like this chapter!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Mortal Instruments or the characters. And I don't own Jace either, so I'll just sit here and cry my eyes out. *sobs* At least, I own this plot and some of the poems, if you could call them poems. I own Jace's poem, the "screw you" one, Clary's final one, and I changed some of the "honey is golden" one, it's actually "sugar is sweet".**

**Also, I decided I'd give you a song or two for this chapter. It's **_**Something That We're Not **_**by Demi Lovato (which is perfect for Simon and Clary in City of Bones and City of Ashes, in my opinion - THE FRIENDZONE SONG, am I right?), or, if you don't like it, **_**Wake Me Up When September Ends **_**by Green Day, which, by the way, is **_**not **_**about how much school sucks. It's actually really meaningful. I just like them. They don't match with the plot.**

_Jace_

"The shortest it can be is eight lines. It can be serious or humorous. Now get to work, class", Mr Morgenstern continues. He sits on his chair and starts checking who's here and who's not. We could just roll-call, but no, we don't roll-call. Because it's _so _hard to just say all of the pupils' names and listen to them saying "here". Note the sarcasm over there. Whatever. I've got work to do.

Through the years I've lived in this planet, it has _never _been so hard to write a poem. What do I know about Clary? Let's see. She's a redhead. She's got green eyes, stunning if I may say it. Now don't get started with all the "oh, you complimented her, you're so in love" because I'm not. My mother always says, or at least, said, before she left me and my dad to go away with her lover, and let's not forget that the only memory I have of her are her flowers, which I have to take care of and - damn, Jace, you speak too much. Anyway, what was I saying? Yes. Before she left us, she always said that whatever you think of a person, there's always something on them that you think is beautiful. And, let me tell you, I can't stand Clary. But I still like her eyes. I don't know why. I guess I just like them, for no apparent reason.

Alright, back to the poem. I drifted off. So, what else do I know? She's stubborn, she likes Edgar Allan Poe, her favourite colour is white, she loves cats and reading... God, this is so hard. Let's see.

_Stubborn little redhead..._

Nope. Not gonna happen.

What if I just ask her? Now, I know it isn't very Jace-like of me to ask what to do, but I'm stuck.

I look at her. She's holding her pencil on her right hand, and her eyes are closed, as if she's sleeping. Her legs are crossed, her right over her left, and her left hand is resting on the desk.

"Clary?" I elbow her side softly. She opens her eyes.

"What is it?"

"Ah, Sleeping Beauty awakes. Finally. So, I was wondering..."

"I'm not telling you anything. Figure it out on your own", she cuts me off. "Now, shh. I'm finding my inner poet."

I resist the urge to roll my eyes and look back on my empty piece of paper.

_Eyes, as green as..._

As what? Ugh.

_Eyes as green as a tropical forest..._

Got it. Yes! But then, what? _She does a better roundhouse kick than Chuck Norris_? Nope. And that's not even possible.

_Eyes as green as a tropical forest_

_From all of the girls I've met, you're the shortest._

Okay, maybe that's good.

_From all of them, I guess you're the most stubborn..._

That's alright.

_And I know how much you want to hit me with your flat iron._

Well, she _might _want to hit me with her flat iron, but she's just in denial. She's _so _into me.

_Eyes as green as a tropical forest_

_From all of the girls I've met, you're the shortest._

_From all of them, I guess you're the most stubborn_

_And I know how much you want to hit me with your flat iron._

I write all of it down.

Next...

_When you're angry_

_Your cheeks resemble your hair_

_But when I tell you,_

_You just decide to glare._

_I know you'd slap me if you could..._

Denial. She's into me. I know she's into me.

_But you're just denying_

_The fact that I'm stunningly atractive_

_Don't try to say no, you're lying._

Now, that's something _I _would write.

I write these eight lines down, and with that, it's complete. Finally.

_Eyes as green as a tropical forest_

_From all of the girls I've met, you're the shortest._

_From all of them, I guess you're the most stubborn_

_And I know how much you want to hit me with your flat iron._

_When you're angry_

_Your cheeks resemble your hair_

_But when I tell you,_

_You just decide to glare._

_I know you'd slap me if you could_

_But you're just denying_

_The fact that I'm stunningly atractive_

_Don't try to say no, you're lying._

Okay... That's good. Although, in the eight last lines I didn't make all of them rhyme. Only hair-glare and denying-lying. Well, it doesn't matter, anyway.

I write my name at the bottom of the page.

_Clary_

You'd think it wouldn't be _that _hard to write about Jace. Well, it is. Let's just say, it's almost impossible. I let out a frustrated groan.

Let's gather everything I know about him together. One, he's blonde, but not white-blonde, like Mr Morgenstern, kind of, like, _golden _blonde. Two, his eyes are also gold. They're almost like coins. Three, he likes dogs. Four, he likes, no, loves, no, wants to _marry _the Harry Potter series. Seriously, though. When he's not around his friends, you'll find him with a book in hand, and it's probably a Harry Potter book. The majority of times, it is. Okay, five. Uh... he likes black. Six. His father is an alcoholic asshole. But he doesn't want me to think about his father. He wants me to completely erase that from my memory. And I sure as hell can't talk about it to anyone.

I shake my head. _Do not think about it, Clary._ It only makes things worse.

Dammit. Why can't I be Edgar Allan Poe?

_Two golden coins for eyes..._

That's too nice. He'll think I'm hitting on him. Oh, well, he always thinks I'm hitting on him. I'm not using that anyway.

_What's that on your front tooth?_

_Oh, it's a chip_

What rhymes with _chip_? _Lip_, _hip_, _ship_, _skinny_ _dip_, _whip_, _slip_... No. Forget about it. It's stupid.

_Roses are red, _

_Violets are not blue_

_They're actually violet_

_oh, I forgot, SCREW YOU._

Wow, chill, Clary, will you? Someone's PMSing. And I definitely cannot write that.

_Roses are red,_

_Violets aren't actually blue_

_Honey is golden_

_And so are you._

_But the roses are wilting_

_The violets are dead_

_The honey jar's empty_

_And so is your head._

That's a win for Clary. But still, no.

_Roses are red_

_That much is true,_

_But violets are violet,_

_NOT FREAKING BLUE._

I'm really annoyed by that "violets are blue" thing. Like, dude. Ugh, I spaced out again.

_Golden eyes, devious smirk_

_Having that, well, it's a perk_

_Wink at girls, flash a smile_

_Promise to call in a little while_

_But you never do, and they're left heartbroken_

_Because of the promise you have broken_

_Oh, silly girls, they knew you wouldn't call_

_But they thought you'd change, because their brain was too small._

And that took me, what, fifteen seconds? I'm so... I can't even find a word. I write my lines down, thinking about their accuracy. That's exactly what Jace does. Play with hearts. I kick my desk in frustration. How does he have the nerve to do that?

"Whoa, what's up?" Jace turns his head to face me. "Who got on your nerves?"

"_You_ did", I reply angrily.

"But I thought my presence was what kept you calm." He smirks evilly. Only if we weren't in class, I'd slap him.

"You little bi..." I stop mid-sentence and glare at him.

"Ah, I see Jace and Clarissa over there are doing great!" Mr Morgenstern points at us. I can't help but wonder why he calls me Clarissa, but he calls Jace Jace. Isn't a teacher supposed to know their students' real names? Oh, well. I guess that'll never be answered.

"Yeah, sure", I whisper sarcastically, hoping our teacher doesn't hear me. But, with my terrible luck, he does. Damn.

"What was that, Clarissa?" he asks, tilting his head slightly.

"Nothing, sir. Just reading my poem. I guess a word slipped." I smile. Because teachers just love it when you smile at them.

"Alright. Class, you have five more minutes!"

I read my poem one last time, and write my name on the bottom of the paper.

_Jace_

These five minutes are hell. I've always hated waiting. It's just so... boring. And non-adventurous. Waiting in line. Waiting for a teacher to mark your test. Waiting in general. It's terrible.

And then, they finally pass.

Mr Morgenstern raises his head again and says, "Okay, class. I believe we're all done, aren't we?" He doesn't wait for an answer before he continues. "Exchange papers with your partners."

I pass Clary the paper and take hers.

_Golden eyes, devious smirk_

_Having that, well, it's a perk_

Oh, well. Perks of being Jace Herondale.

_Wink at girls, flash a smile_

_Promise to call in a little while_

_But you never do, and they're left heartbroken_

_Because of the promise you have broken_

_Oh, silly girls, they knew you wouldn't call_

_But they thought you'd change, because their brain was too small._

Not my fault they were bimbos. If they actually had a brain, they'd figure it out. I am what I am. I am not a saint. I am not Gordo from _Lizzie McGuire. _I am not that friend-zoned guy that always make the girl feel better, but is actually in love with her. I am not Simon Lewis. Let's say he doesn't like Clary, and he really thinks of her as just a friend. Which I don't believe, but, oh, well. He's a good guy. He's that boy that has a soft side. Let's say he gets a girlfriend. She'll cheat on him, walk over him, make him her toy, and then throw him away. Being good doesn't get you anywhere. I'd rather be a cocky smartass than a good guy.

_Clary_

_Eyes as green as a tropical forest_

Okay, my eyes are not _that _green. I'm flattered, but they're not.

_From all of the girls I've met, you're the shortest._

I knew it wasn't going to last long.

_From all of them, I guess you're the most stubborn_

_And I know how much you want to hit me with your flat iron._

Maybe he does know me a little bit.

_When you're angry_

_Your cheeks resemble your hair_

Oh, please.

_But when I tell you,_

_You just decide to glare._

_I know you'd slap me if you could_

Yes. Yes, I would.

_But you're just denying_

_The fact that I'm stunningly atractive_

_Don't try to say no, you're lying._

Pffft. Stunningly attractive. As if I liked his golden locks, or his eyes, or his pale skin, or his abs... Ugh. I'm a freaking woman. I'll have to admit it. Jace doesn't hurt to look at.

The bell rings, and Mr Morgenstern shouts over the madness, "YOUR HOMEWORK IS TO PICK A SONG WITH YOUR PARTNER, AND PRESENT IT TO CLASS!" Oh, God. I am so _not _singing with Jace. Can't I just play the guitar or something? _Clary, you can't play the guitar. _Oh, right. Damn.

**A/N: Okay, this was one of the hardest chapters to write. I hate writing poems. I mean, I like writing poems, but they're just so hard to write. I'm sending love to my readers/favouriters/followers/reviewers/whatever else it is that you do!**

**Till next time (which will probably be tomorrow or the day after tomorrow or even today, since I have most of the chapter planned),**

**Marianna (ifyouknew)**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Hey, guys. So, we won't be seeing Jace's POV for a while (after this chapter, of course). But, since my mind changes every two minutes, you never know... Also, I answered a question from a guest in this chapter, it's about the original plot of the previous chapter, scroll down and look for "In the original plot, she actually chose the honey jar one." Tell me if you like it more. Anyway, shout-outs, answers, disclaimer and songs (also, I realised -or realized, depending on how **_**you **_**write it- I've been answering questions from registered users here, along with guests. I guess I'll just mention the names for shout-outs, and give answers to not-signed-in people here, since my author's notes are too long and I'm terribly sorry):**

**SHOUT-OUTS TO: **

**Guest, faith1216, Willa Lightdale, Guest, combatbootchic12, ReadingWalker, TheEternalDaylightingRanger, Guest, ploiuiu, Niamh x, riley207, ZoroKim, ruby, Guest, Guest, ravenwalker321, KyKat, xojessica36, xthemortalinstrumentsx**

**Answers &amp; replies to not-signed-in reviewers or reviewers that I can't PM (I'm going by reversed time order, so if someone reviewed an hour ago, and someone else reviewed 2 days ago, then the one that reviewed an hour ago goes first -yeah, pretty messy, I know- or maybe I'll add something that identifies you, like, the guest that said "insert something here"):**

**Guest+Faith1216+Guest+Guest+riley207+ruby: Glad you liked it! Thanks for taking time to review, hope you like this chapter!**

**Niamh x: Do you mean the Tim Burton version? If yes, me, too. I LOVED IT! Sam Tsui's cool. I really like his videos, especially the **_**Let Her Go**_**/ **_**Let It Go**_** remix. And I LOVE LOVE LOVE Coldplay, if that's the **_**Yellow **_**you listened to. Okay, so. That **_**violets are blue **_**thing. IT'S SO FREAKING ANNOYING! It annoys **_**me**_**, it annoys **_**you**_**, it annoys **_**Clary**_**, it annoys the majority of the people who use the internet. Like, dude. Thanks for taking time to review, hope you like this chapter! **

**Guest that wanted Clary to pick the honey poem: In the original plot, she actually chose the honey jar one. Jace freaked out on her, yelling "My hair is a different shade of blonde! Not honey!" Then, he proceeded to storm out of the room, moving his hips and flipping his hair over his shoulder shouting "I will have vengeance!" And then, I deleted it, because it was just too Isabelle-like. Am I right? Anyway, thanks for taking time to review, hope you like this chapter!**

**Guest that called me a glass mole jokingly: Here you go! Thanks for taking time to review, hope you like this chapter! P.S. I really **_**am **_**a glass mole, no need to say it jokingly.**

**Disclaimer: Last time I checked, I was **_**not **_**Cassandra Clare, therefore I don't own The Mortal Instruments. Bummer! **

**Songs for this chapter: Jamie Campbell Bower - Alone Is No Together (It needs to be in the City of Glass movie. Y'know, when *CITY OF GLASS SPOILER ALERT! LOOK AWAY IF YOU HAVEN'T READ IT!* Jace comes in her room, like "I just want one night with you", and they sleep in the same bed and then in the morning Jace is gone. And his confession, oh, my God, "I love you, and I will love you until I die, and if there is life after that, I'll love you then". So heartbreaking. *sobs*)**

**OR**

**Ed Sheeran - The A Team (I'd suggest you hear the acoustic performance from On Air With Ryan Seacrest, the man had devoured a freaking milkshake and he sang like an angel!)**

**The song Jace is singing is down. I'm not telling you now 'cause it's a spoiler.**

_Jace_

I elbow Clary for the second time today. She turns her head, looking annoyed. Oh, please. What an act.

"What again?!" she whines.

"What do you suggest we sing?" I ask. "I suppose it's an ode you have written about my beautiful self?"

She flips me off under the desk. Huh.

"When and where?" I wink at her and smirk.

"You idiot!" she yells. She slaps my shoulder. She tilts her head and squints from one eye when I do nothing. What, she expected me to scream in pain? She has a hard time opening doors because they're too heavy! "This isn't over." She stands up and exits, making sure to glare at me.

"Jace, darling!" Magnus calls. "Come join me and Alec! We have Algebra together!" I turn around to face him. His black hair is covered with -what else?- glitter. He's wearing a sparkly shirt and black trousers. Surprisingly, he hasn't covered his trousers with glitter. Well, that's strange. Alec stands next to him awkwardly, tugging at the bottom of his T-shirt.

"Nope. You_ two _have Algebra together. I have French", I point out.

"Oh. Then, I guess it's only me and Alec..." Magnus says, acting as if it's not a big deal. But he doesn't fool anybody. He's overly excited.

"Yeah. See you next time."

"Bye", both Magnus and Alec say.

I stand up, grabbing my bag with one hand. I walk to my French class.

I find the door and enter the classroom. I take my usual seat in the third row, next to the window.

After a few minutes, our teacher, Miss Fray, comes in. Her black hair is up in a ponytail. She's wearing a white T-shirt with paint all over it, blue ripped jeans and green sneakers. She has a black mailman bag slung over her shoulder.

Miss Fray's actually friends with Elodie. Funny thing how Elodie wanted nothing to do with our teacher, until she heard her name was Madeleine and she was half-French. Now, that's ridiculous. You don't see _me _going around saying "I don't like you because you're not British." That's a big, fat no.

"Hello, class. Sorry I'm late. I got caught up with something." Or someone. It amazes me how she thinks that no one knows about her and Mr Morgenstern. Well, they're not even together. It's what you'd call friends with benefits. "Today, we're..." Her phone rings to the tune of... my God, is that... _I Just Had Sex_? "Oops..." she blushes and looks down, trying to hide it, and mutters, "Not funny, Val." Val? Oh, she means Mr Morgenstern. She answers her phone. "C'mon. Seriously? I'm in class. Why'd you change my ringtone? No, it's not funny. The principal? Why does he want me? Oh, all the teachers? Alright. Give me five minutes, I'll be there. But we're not done talking." She presses a button and tells us, "Hey, kids? I have to go. The principal needs us. Stay here. You can leave when the bell rings." She walks out of the classroom.

And hell breaks loose. Paper balls are thrown, battle cries are heard, Camille Belcourt's annoying laughter fills the room. She glances at me from her seat and winks. God, not again. She's been throwing herself at me for the past two years; can't she just take a hint? I'm not interested in her, and I never will be.

"Jace?" Clary pokes my arm from behind. How long has she been sitting there?

"Incredibly Handsome Man on your services", I respond, a smirk forming on my lips.

"Yeah, yeah, cut the crap. What are we singing?" she asks.

"I was thinking, maybe, _Flesh _by Simon Curtis?" Oh, she has no idea.

"And what's that?"

"You know... _Bite into me harder, sink your teeth into my flesh... Hold me up against the wall, give me till I beg, give me some more... Hold my hands above my head and push my face into the bed cause I'm a screamer, baby, make me a mute..._" By the time I'm finished singing different parts of the song, she has put her face in her palm, laughing so hard, you'd think she's crying.

"I'm not... singing a... sexual... song with you!" she manages to say between fits of laughter. I can't help but crack a smile. "Now, it's my turn", she continues. "Ever heard of _I'm A Bitch _by Meredith Brooks? _I'm a bitch, I'm a lover, I'm a child, I'm a mother, I'm a sinner, I'm a saint, I do not feel ashamed! I'm your hell, I'm your dream, I'm nothing in between! You know you wouldn't want it any other way..._"

She's actually good at singing. Like, really good. But, instead of just paying a compliment, I decide to stay with my sarcastic remarks and say in a motherly tone, "You're a mother? Clarissa Fairchild, you don't know the trouble you got into!"

"Shut up!" she says playfully and slaps my shoulder.

"Never."

"Oh, well. Worth trying." She raises her shoulders.

"I'd like to see you sing _Flesh_, though..." I say, smirking.

She slaps my shoulder for the third time today, and says, "What the hell is up with all the sex references today?"

"Sex references? I would never!" I place my hand on my heart dramatically. "Clarissa Fairchild, I am offended!" I say in a mocking tone.

"Yeah, yeah."

We stay like that, discussing possible songs. I make innuendos eventually, and she slaps my arm ("What's up with all the violence today, Clary?" "Shut up, Jace."). A while later, the bell rings.

"Hey, Clary?"

"Hmm?"

"We never really picked a song", I point out.

"Well, it's Friday, and we don't have English until, like, Wednesday. I guess we can just meet up somewhere?" she suggests, but it sounds more like a question than a suggestion.

"Uh, yeah, sure. What do you say, Taki's, Monday afternoon?"

"Okay. See you then, I guess."

"Yeah."

We take our separate ways, she exits, probably meeting Lewis, and I go straight to the music room.

Our principal says students should express themselves, and music's a good way for it. For that to happen, they let us use the instruments on the music room any time. And it's been such a long time since I even touched a piano, I think I might have forgotten how to use it.

But I haven't. As soon as I sit on the stool, my fingers move on their own, it's an instinct. I grab a music sheet out of my bag. I've wanted to play _that _song forever. I wrote it in a very... vulnerable state. Yes, I just admitted I was once in a vulnerable state, and yes, that means I was, or thought I was, in love. Ooh, so exciting.

I start playing.

_I could drag you from the ocean,_

_I could pull you from the fire_

_And when you're standing in the shadows_

_I could open up the sky_

_And I could give you my devotion_

_Until the end of time_

_And you will never be forgotten_

_With me by your side_

_And I don't need this life_

_I just need…_

_I've got nothing left to live for_

_Got no reason yet to die_

_But when I'm standing in the gallows_

_I'll be staring at the sky_

_Because no matter where they take me_

_Death I will survive_

_And I will never be forgotten_

_With you by my side_

_Cause I don't need this life_

_I just need…_

_Somebody to die for_

_Somebody to cry for_

_When I'm lonely_

_When I'm standing in the fire_

_I will look him in the eye_

_And I will let the devil know that_

_I was brave enough to die_

_And there's no hell that he can show me_

_That's deeper than my pride_

_Cause I will never be forgotten_

_Forever I'll fight_

_And I don't need this life_

_I just need…_

_Somebody to die for_

_Somebody to cry for_

_When I'm lonely_

_And I don't need this life_

_I just need…_

_Somebody to die for_

_Somebody to cry for_

_When I'm lonely_

_Don't go gentle into that good night_

_Rage on against the dying light_

I stop playing, thinking about the time I wrote it. Stupid Jace. She walked on you like a doormat. You actually thought she ever cared about you? Silly, silly Jace.

I hear crying.

Who the hell...?

Well, it _does _sound familiar.

"Clary?" I ask, and it is indeed her.

"Heard me, huh?" she calls back, appearing from behind a pillar.

Now, how did I manage to not hear a door opening and closing? Jeez, Jace, you're losing your hearing.

"Well, yeah. It's not _that _hard to hear a girl sniffling."

"My God, Jace, it's so... so... beautiful!" she says. Her eyes are red and puffy from all the crying. I never thought I'd actually see her crying. I mean, this is _Clary Fairchild _we're talking about. Not once have I seen her tear up.

"Th-thanks." Did I just stutter? Jace Herondale _never _stutters.

"Did... did you write it?"

"Yeah", I mutter looking back at the piano keys.

"Can we..." she hesitates, "nevermind."

"What did you want to say?" I ask, looking at her again.

"It's... it's too personal, I doubt you'd agree."

"We don't know that."

"Can we sing that? For English, I mean." She looks at her shoes, tugging at the bottom of her shirt.

"Oh." I bite my lip, thinking for a few seconds. "I... Okay, I guess."

She flashes me a faint smile. "Cool. Maybe you'd like to practice it? We could meet at Monday or something, like we said earlier..."

"Uh, yeah, sure. Maybe, here? After classes?"

"Okay. Goodbye..." She turns around and walks out, leaving me alone, in silence. I put my face in my palm. _Great. Just great._

0-0-0

On my way to my house, I'm silent.

I park in the driveway and get in quickly. My father's passed out in the couch, as usual. He never actually hits me. Sure, he's an alcoholic, but that doesn't necessarily mean he hits me. Threats and stuff? They're only words. They're still scary, but he would _never _do that.

Thankfully, it's Friday. I lie down on my bed, not bothering to change clothes. I'm too bored. I guess I'll just read a book or something.

I stand up, walking until I've reached my bookcase. I search until I find _Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets_. Damn you, Dobby. Just go and snatch Harry's letters like that, make him almost get expelled, break his arm and have Lockhart make the bones disappear, and then act like it's the best for him. Bullcrap. The best for him. Okay, maybe Dobby isn't _that _bad of a character, and I've grown to love him through the series, and maybe, _maybe_, I shed a tear or two when he died, but he was an ass in _The Chamber of Secrets_. A complete ass.

I'm halfway through the book when I drift off, thinking about _her_. The one I wrote the song for. How her hair would fall in her eyes in a cute, maybe beautiful way, how I'd kiss her and feel sparks, how she looked at me with those _huge _eyes, that seemed to be piercing through my soul. And then she broke up with me. I was just a stupid bet she made with her friends.

I fall asleep on my bed, the book on my chest.

**A/N: So, tell me your favorite lines. From chapters 1 to 6. So, the song Jace sings in class is **_**Flesh **_**by Simon Curtis (I'm writing it even though Jace said it) (LYRICS TO **_**FLESH **_**ARE OWNED BY SIMON CURTIS), Clary's is **_**I'm A Bitch **_**by Meredith Brooks (again, she said it) (LYRICS TO **_**I'M A BITCH **_**ARE OWNED BY MEREDITH BROOKS), and I did not write the perfect song in the music room, neither did Jace, it's actually **_**Somebody To Die For **_**by Hurts (LYRICS TO **_**SOMEBODY TO DIE FOR **_**ARE OWNED BY HURTS). I am very sorry for all the sex references, but I had to, Jace needed it. I just go around from him being a jackass to a pretty sweet guy. We'll learn about the one he loved, but not really soon. Sorry.**

**Reviews are appreciated.**

**Also, guys, let's have a moment of silence to consider why the hell "slim chance" and "fat chance" mean the same thing.**

**Marianna (ifyouknew)**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Um... Hey, I guess? Now, I know what you're thinking. I updated THREE WEEKS days ago, and all I say is "Hey, I guess?" I was sick. Like, really sick. I lost four kg in a week because I couldn't eat (that's 8,8 pounds for other folks) and then I had writer's block. So, forgive me if it's crappy. I changed the summary of the story, by the way. Do you like it more? Should I change it back? (YES, books WILL be thrown over Jace's head. Sorry, love. Love you!) SORRY FOR ANY TYPOS, IT IS CURRENTLY 10:41 PM AND I NEED SLEEP.**

**TheEternalDaylightingRanger is awesome. Go read **_**The Midnight Flower **_**because damn, that story is perfect. Chapter seven wouldn't have been written without L's advice. Giant "thank you"s with chocolate chip cookies to you. :D**

**Please take the time to vote on my poll. It's about an one-shot. TMI related. Probably AH. Maybe angsty, maybe funny. YES, I AM CAPABLE OF WRITING ANGST. SHOCKER! Probably funny, though. Don't get your hopes up on the angst.**

**I like writing Jace, so we see him again, and I'm sorry that I said we wouldn't see him for a while and now we do, but I thought it was true at the time! I'm surprised nobody commented on my Dobby rant, though... Seriously, that was just me bitching about Dobby.**

**Also, I saw that in the previous chapter one of my paragraphs were missing. You know, when I mentioned Elodie and Miss Fray being friends? I had something before that which said that Jace only took French because Sebastian took it, too (his aunt Elodie was bugging him about it). AND on chapter three, I was checking it again, and WTF? I had more questions and thoughts, and, again, WTF? I'll fix it a little, so please check it again the day after tomorrow. AAAAND, I don't know if I made this clear, Clary's a senior, it's October 2013.**

**SHOUT-OUTS: Guest, Mbak Sanca, Lesya17, Rose, FangirlHypeXx, Guest, KyKat, MI cra cra, Guest, faith1216, Guardian of Heaven, TheEternalDaylightingRanger, LOVERGIRL, ruby, ravenwalker321**

**Guest who commented on Carrie: Mmm, Carrie doesn't really ring a bell. Enlighten me? What's her account? Anyway, hope you like this chapter!**

**Rose: I considered Jace falling asleep to Clary, but then I threw the idea out the window. Don't worry, fellow Clace fan, I want cute moments, too, so be prepared for them! Not in this chapter. Sorry. Forgive me? *pouts* Hope you like this chapter!**

**Guest that commented on my "slim &amp; fat chance" comment: Nice! :) Hope you like this chapter!**

**MI cra cra: It's okay. :D And for that, you'll see... Hope you like this chapter!**

**Guest to whom I replied about the honeypot poem in the last chapter: Nice reactions! I discovered **_**Flesh **_**through a TMI video, too. I seriously drooled; how do people say that Jamie's not hot enough for Jace?! THE MAN IS PERFECT. If that's the one you watched; if not, then I'm just showing you my obsession. Um. Awkwaaaard (I seem to be saying that a lot). Well, okay. I'm seriously blushing now that I'm reading your ending paragraph. Perfect? Perfect? THANK YOU SO FREAKING MUCH *VIRTUAL HUG*. Okay, well, you're welcome, and I hope you like this chapter!**

**faith1216: Glad you liked it! Hope you like this chapter!**

**LOVERGIRL: I present you, ladies and gentlemen... *drumroll* CHAPTER SEVEN! Hope you like this chapter!**

**ruby: We'll see about that one. Jamie happens to be one of my favourite actors/singers/models. Hope you like this chapter!**

**SONGS: The Cab **_**\- Angel With A Shotgun **_**(**_**I wanna live, not just survive**_**... That's deep, dude.) **_or _** KT Tunstall - **_**Black Horse and The Cherry Tree**_** (Woo hoo!)**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not... seriously, why do we write these things? It's not like I would write fanfiction based on my own books! Like, yeah, I'm tooooootally Cassie Clare, and I toooooootally own TMI. *cough cough* SARCASM, YOU DIPSHITS! *cough cough* Um, yeah, sorry for my rant... Awkwaaaaaard... Why the hell are you still reading this?... Stop!... Dude!... You're scaring me... Look away... I'm done talking... Seriously, still reading?... Byyyyyeeee... ANYWAY, I do not own TMI or The Fault In Our Stars. Kay.**

_Simon__  
_

I can_not _believe my luck.

So, here I go, waiting for Clary to just come and drop me off at my house, leaning on the car door, and then Isabelle freaking Lightwood comes out of nowhere, and _smiles_. At who? At _me_.

And then she approaches me. "Hey, Simon."

Of course, I have to be a blushing mess and be like, "Oh, h-hey I-Isabelle."

She chuckles. "You stutter a lot. It's cute."

Isabelle just called me cute.

Holy-

"Who are you waiting for?" she asks.

"Clary."

"Oh." She rubs her lips together. "So, where is she?"

"Inside. Music room or something. She forgot her bag during Music."

"You better take care of her. If I were you, I wouldn't want Jace hitting on my girlfriend. Not that I have a girlfriend, but, you get my point." She gazes at her feet.

Wait.

She thinks I'm with Clary?

Like, with with?

"Isabelle, no. Clary's not my girlfriend!" I laugh. "We're best friends since kindergarten! That would be... like me and my sister!"

She immediately looks back up at me. She raises one eyebrow, and, seriously, why the hell can't I do that? "So, you're not... together?"

"Nope."

"Everybody seems to think you are. Jace thinks you like her." Why is it all about Jace? Damn it, why is it never Simon? Oh, already jealous, Si? "Aline does, too. Sebastian..." she trails off, "Sorry about that. I heard about the cafeteria. It was awful, wasn't it? Sebastian's... brrr." She fake-shivers. "Wouldn't wanna piss that one off."

It scares me, really. Because Sebastian wasn't _that_ bad.

But I like Isabelle.

Not Sebastian.

A kiss is just a kiss, that's what they say, right?

0-0-0

"Have you read _The Fault In Our Stars_?" Isabelle asks, checking the car's mirror.

"_It's a metaphor, see: You put the killing thing right between your teeth, but you don't give it the power to do its killing_", I quote the book as an answer.

She laughs, and it truthfully is a beautiful sound. Ah, great, I'm turning into one of these cliché characters from all the movies. What would Clary think? "I never took you for a _Fault _fun. I thought you liked manga and anime. _Bleach _and stuff."

"Oh, well, I guess you could sa- wait. How do you know what _Bleach_ is if you don't watch anime?" I raise both eyebrows, for the previous reason that I absolutely can't raise one.

"My brother Max likes it. And, I might have watched an episode or two..." she admits, raising her hands and swallowing.

"ISABELLE LIGHTWOOD LIKES ANIME! MY LIFE IS COMPLETE!" I shout, throwing my hands into the air.

She laughs.

"You're funny."

_Clary_

I cried.

Over a song.

Or, at least, that's what Jace thinks.

I cried, because his voice sounded so pained, so broken, and it was so heartbreaking, I don't believe there's a single person who wouldn't have cried.

It was like he had given up on the world.

I shouldn't have asked him to sing it with me. It'll definitely bring up old memories, and he could break down.

I drive back to my house, and then it hits me.

Simon wasn't waiting by my car. So who got him?

Okay, okay, I guess he just walked or something. He must have become bored waiting for me.

But that's a lie. Simon doesn't like walking. He'd rather have a stick shoved up his posterior - wait, what? Jace is really rubbing off on me. Ugh. Jace again. Why does everything go back to Jace?

I hear my ringtone, the chorus of _She Will Be Loved _by Maroon 5 right after I park. SIMON flashes at the screen of my white Samsung phone - and yes, I know I'm a 2013 teenager, but I don't actually have a touch-screen phone - and I pick it up, ready to hear his whining.

Instead he just greets me with a "_Hey, Clary!_" and continues with, "_Are you free Saturday_ _night?_"

I nod, and when I realise he can't actually see me, I reply, "Yeah, sure, why?"

"_Uh... We're going clubbing._"

My eyes widen, and I shout, "WE'RE WHAT?!"

"_We're going clubbing..._" he repeats, and I bet he's biting his lip.

No. No. No, no, no. "But you know how much I hate clubbing, Simon!" And I have my reasons. Sweaty, smelly bodies everywhere, weird, drunk assholes who don't know how to take no for an answer... Do I need more?

"_I know, I know, but... I met Isabelle on the way here, waiting for you, and she gave me a ride, and it's her birthday this Saturday, well, it's Alec's too_", God, he makes it so obvious that he likes her, he just keeps rambling, "_and she said that you and I could come. It's at that all-ages club, Pandemonium._" Well, that's weird. We're not really friends with Isabelle. Not enemies either. We've spoken a few times, sure, but we don't really hang out or anything. I don't get why she'd invite us. "_Come on, Clary. Everybody from school will be there!_" Oh. That makes sense. She's inviting everybody.

I sigh. "Okay, okay! But you owe me!"

"_Yes! Thank you, Clary! See you tomorrow!_"

"Bye."

Great. Now I have to get all dressed up for tomorrow. It's a club, after all. Argh. Can't I just wear my jeans or something?

With all this club-nonsense, I forgot to get inside. I grab my bag, exit the car and get inside. My mom's at the kitchen. I stand next to the door, and I can see a cooking book on the table, opened on a page which has "CHOCOLATE CAKE" written on it with bright pink letters.

Wait. My mom never makes chocolate cake. Unless she has something to tell me. Oh, no.

"Hey, mom", I say as I fully enter the kitchen, trying to hide my nervous expression. _Please, let it be just my mom being extra nice for no reason. Please, please, please._ "Hey, Clary. Why don't you sit? I've made you something..."

"Okay, mom. Just tell me what's up. I'm not a kid", I tell her, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Clary... Clary, your father will come and visit."

I freeze for a second.

"What do you mean my father will visit?!" I shout, anger written all over my face.

My father cheated on my mom four years ago with a Maureen girl, some now-thirty-seven-year-old I don't even remember. Mom was never really the same after that. She divorced him, and now he's married to Maureen. It really pains me that my mom cried for two years over him. The third year, she accepted it, almost. I don't know if she has moved on, but it seems like that. She's actually happy now and then.

"Mom, why is he coming?"

"Well, for starters, he wants to see you, don't forget you were fourteen when he left, and... well, Clary, people change. And people forgive." Oh, hell no.

"Mom, you didn't forgive him. You can't forgive him. Twenty years of marriage and he leaves you like that! No, you didn't forgive him. So, what is this all about?" I snap, making hand gestures now and then.

"Look, Clary..." She looks around the room nervously. "We'll lose the house. And I got fired, and your father will be paying the rent until I find a job again, but he needs somewhere to stay for a while since he's in New York for business with... Maureen and her daughter", daughter? "she's your age, by the way, and it's the only thing he wants us to do, who knows why he doesn't want a hotel, he just said he wants to see you. If we don't, then we'll be homeless and I'm sorry, dear." She rushes over to me and hugs me.

This is too much to process.

My mom lost her job, my father is coming to stay with his wife, AND he has a child. Well, _she _has, from her other marriage, she's technically not his daughter, or my sister, and oh my God.

"Mom, how long is he staying?"

"I don't know. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry", she repeats, still hugging me.

"Mom, it's fine", I reassure her. "When is he coming?"

"I don't know. He'll call."

We stay like that for a while.

"She won't go to school with you. Maureen's daughter, I mean", she breaks the silence, running a hand through her hair.

I haven't really met Maureen's daughter. I don't even know her name. And, to be honest, I bet she's going to be a bitch. Now, I know. I'm too harsh and all. But, oh, well. Don't judge too quickly, Clary.

"Now, why don't you eat? I just got it out the oven." She gestures to a cake sitting on a white plate, and I grab a fork in rocket speed, dropping my schoolbag next to the doorframe.

"Thank you!"

0-0-0

After three pieces of cake, which I ate because my mom wouldn't stop bugging me about how I need to eat more (typical mom), and because it was heavenly, sweet, and it practically melted on your tongue, I finally fall on my bed, not bothering to change my clothes.

I love Fridays.

0-0-0

_Jace_

I sleep for about an hour, so peaceful and quiet.

And then, of course, my goddamn phone has to ring.

I pick it up, groaning.

"Hello?" I suppress a yawn.

"_It's Izzy. You didn't forget about the party, did you?_" Crap. I did.

"No, no, of course not!" Lies. "Where did you say it was? And when?"

"_Pandemonium. Saturday night. Clary'll be there._"

"And why are you telling me?"

"_Because I ship you, silly._" What? "_You and Clary. You're complete opposites, and it's what makes it so perfect._" So, I have people shipping me and Clary. Oh. Me and Clary? Well... that's... different.

"Isabelle, you can't ship me and Clary."

"_Whatever, Jace."_

"So, what are _you _doing? And how do you know Clary's coming?"

"_I might have met Simon on the way home..._ _Saturday night, Pandemonium. Miss it, and I cut your throat! Bye!_"

Awe, so sweet.

Pfft. Shipping. As if.

I sound like a teenage girl now, don't I?

Oh, good Lord, help me.

_Clary_

Simon calls again, and I don't pick up right away, since I'm so peacefully lying on my bed.

"Whaaaaaaaat?" I groan into the phone, showing him my annoyance.

"_Oh, relax, Clary._"

"What do you want?"

"_Isabelle said she'll come to your house to get you fixed up or something. I forgot to tell you earlier._" Oh, great. Just great. "_Can I give her your address?_"

Oh, well. I've got nothing to lose. "Yeah, whatever."

This is so unlike me.

"Wait. YOU GOT HER NUMBER?!" I crack a huge smile at that. I wonder why he's not screaming out of joy already.

"_I-it's not like that!_" I can swear I _feel _him blushing. That's Simon for you; when it comes to Isabelle... "_It's for you to call her. Y'know. So she can tell you she's coming. Ugh, I'll just text it to you. I'm done talking._"

Here we go.

**A/N: Hate it? Love it? Want to stab my eye with a pencil? Tell me. **

**Till next time (which will not be after three weeks, for sure, probably the day after tomorrow),**

**Marianna**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Hey there! HAPPY JUNE! So. I couldn't find chapter three on my documents, so I thought about rewriting it. Should I? Also, this chapter is around 2200 words long, WITHOUT the author's notes. Yay! Does anybody want to be my beta? I could use the help. PM me if you're interested. Clary's dress and Izzy's dress are on my profile (well, the link is - I'm queenofblades on polyvore). Along with shoes and make-up and hair whatever else there is.**

**SHOUT-OUTS: Guest, Guardian of Heaven, ZoroKim, Abby, KyKat, Guest, Guest, RitzaHerondale, MI cra-cra, jenna, TheEternalDaylightingRanger, TIDTMIgirl, LOVERGIRL**

**Guest: I can't just jump straight in the romance and be like "WOAH! CLACE!" "WOAH! CLACE MARRIAGE!" "WOAH! CLACE SEX!" "WOAH! CLACE BABIES!" It'd be strange. Patience, grasshopper (total TFioS reference here). Hope you like this chapter!**

**Abby: We'll see. Chapter nine is the club, and I haven't written it yet, so, there's a chance. :) Hope you like this chapter.**

**Guest with the Camille theory: The characters are completely unrelated. Maureen's daughter could be anyone. Nice pun! And yes, the dude is hot. Like you said, BEYOND WORDS. Hope you like this chapter!**

**MI cra-cra: It's not only Izzy shipping Clace (oooh, was that, perhaps, a hint for this chapter?) You'll find out, you'll find out... Hehe. Actually, they're completely unrelated. Clary's father is Lucian. As in Graymark. Valentine's her super cool English teacher. Hope you like this chapter!**

**jenna: Thanks! Hope you like this chapter!**

**TIDTMIgirl: Oh, you'll see... Hehe. Hope you like this chapter!**

**LOVERGIRL: THE UPDATE IS HERE! YAY! Hope you like this chapter!**

**SONGS: The Strange Familiar - **_**Shelter**_**,**__**He is We - **_**Kiss It Better**_**, Guns N' Roses - **_**Sweet Child O' Mine **_**(YES, MY MUSIC TASTE VARIES, DEAL WITH IT.)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Mortal Instruments. I'm too bored to write something funny/sarcastic, so, um, here's the chapter.**

_Clary_

Simon texts me Isabelle's number right after he hungs up. I enter it in my contacts and dump the phone on my desk, after checking the time. Six thirty.

After fifteen minutes of lying on my bed, my phone rings. I stand up and grab it, seeing ISABELLE flash on the screen.

"Hello?"

"_Hey, Clary! It's Isabelle._"

"Oh, hey, Isabelle."

"_So, maybe I could come tomorrow at, around seven? The party starts at eleven, so we'll have time._" So, we'll be getting ready for four hours... Yeah, definitely unlike me.

"Um, yeah, sure, did Simon give you my address?" Why do I even ask? I mean, it's Simon we're talking about, do you think he'd forget to text Isabelle?

"_Yeah, he did. Oh, one more thing._"

"Yeah?"

"_Do you wear high-heels?_" No. No, no, no. Please, no.

"Not really..."

"_Don't worry, you'll love them._" Damn it. Damn it, damn it, damn it. "_Oops, gotta go. See ya, Clary._" I can hear Alec's voice from somewhere far. He seems to be shouting something along the lines of "_IZZY, GET YOUR GODDAMN CAT OFF MY BED BEFORE I THROW IT OUT THE WINDOW!_"

_Jace_

Sebastian calls me just a few minutes after Isabelle hangs up.

"_Hey, man._"

"Hey."

"_Is Simon gonna be at Isabelle's party?_" Of course he'll ask that.

"I don't know. I think so."

"_Great._"

"You practically assaulted the guy, well, more like your lips assaulted the guy's. I doubt he'd like to see you..." He's going to get so pissed at me.

"_I know, I know, I just... want to apologise, I guess..._" Sebastian Verlac wants to apologise. Now, that's something new. And most definitely not the Sebastian I know. I mean, he didn't get pissed, and he's Sebastian.

"Go do that alone. I mean, yeah, I'm your best friend, Seb, but all that lovey-dovey crap just makes me sick", I joke, ending the sentence with a laugh so he knows.

"_Oh, look who's talking. Jace and Fairchild sitting on a tree..._" Oh, no. He did _not _just say that.

"Say one more word and I'm going to castrate you."

"_K-I-S-S-I-N-G!_" he continues singing in a sing-song voice, completely out of tune. "_Face it, Jace. You're craaaaaaaaaazy about her!_"

First Isabelle, now Sebastian. Oh, great.

"Absolutely not."

"_You're crushing on her again!_"

"Am not."

"_Are too._"

"Am not."

"_Are too._"

"Am not!"

"_Are too!_"

"WILL YOU CLOSE THAT GODDAMN MOUTH OF YOURS?!" I shout into the phone. Damn it, Sebastian.

Fortunately, that shuts him up.

"Now, how did you get that idea?" I ask, putting on a scary-calm voice.

"_Dude. Don't play dumb with me. That crush you had on her after Maryse is totally resurfacing._" Yes, the almighty Jace Herondale had a crush on Clary Fairchild, (and on Izzy's and Alec's mother, but that's besides the point - yes, Maryse is that older woman I had such a crush on, the woman could cook), yes, on Clary Fairchild. Hey, I was fourteen. Can you blame me? She was the only one not to fall to my feet. I pined over her for two years. Sure, I dated a lot of other girls to keep my mind off her, but... You get the point. Then, I met _her_ (even her name brings me pain, so let's just call her _her_), and everything just... changed, I guess you could say that. She wouldn't speak to me, I wouldn't speak to her, problem solved.

I remember when I met Clary. We were, what, six? We didn't really hit it off. We didn't exactly hate each other, either. We spoke, yes, but we weren't really friends. It all went well until we were fourteen, we went to an end-of-school party, and I had finally come to my senses and realised Maryse was 40 years old and my friend's mother. Some dude tried to kiss her, I got all mad and possessive even though she wasn't my girlfriend, I punched him, she got all mad and slapped the shit out of me, stepped on my foot, threw her flip-flop at me and left muttering something about me being an _asshat_, as she put it. Only then did I realise that I had a tiny, tiny crush on Clary Fairchild. And it just kept growing and growing and growing.

Fortunately, you can say I've kissed those feelings goodbye, so...

"_Or have you?_"

Did I say that last part out loud?

"Yes, I have. Yes, I have!" I insist.

"_Suuuure. Keep telling yourself that._"

"You can't see me, but I'm giving you the finger right now."

"_DON'T MAKE ME SNAP MY FINGERS IN A Z FORMATION-_" Oh, God, no. Ever since he found out about that, he's been using it non-stop.

"Seb..."

"_-EXCLAMATION, BOOTY SENSATION, ELBOW, ELBOW, FIST, FIST, CRY, BITCH, CRY, YOU JUST GOT DISSED!_" He hangs up.

Wow. That was so mature.

Anyway. Don't fool yourself. Sebastian's just messing around, and I don't feel anything about Clary. Nope. Not. At. All. _That _was years ago.

My phone beeps, alarming me that I have a message.

_U free? -K_

Who's K again?

_Who is this?_

_Kaelie. 4got abt me? :( -K_

I think my eye hurts right now. Text speak is... well, for lack of a better word, ew.

_Would it really make a difference? And how'd you get my number?_

_I hv my w8s ;) - K_

_1) Don't flirt with me. 2) Your weights? What weights? Are you a bodybuilder or something?_

_No, my ways. - K_

_UGH, FINALLY, something that made sense!_

_Whtvr. I saw u with Carrie. I thawt I was ur grlfrend. -K_

_Her name is Clary. She's not my girlfriend, and neither are you. And, oh, God, thawt? Are you in first grade?_

_Its txt spk. -K_

_No, it's stupid._

_5-yr-old cmbacks. -K_

_5-year-old grammar._

_Awe, were lk an old marrid cple! -K_

Is she serious?

_Good Lord, you're not a bright one, are you?_

Mental note: Change your phone number, Jace.

_Anyw8, Carrie's nt hot enuf fr u. -K_

_*Clary. And she's not my girlfriend. But that doesn't mean she's not hot._

Waaaait, where'd that come from?

_Oh, stop fooling yourself. You know she's hot. _Shut up, brain. _No, you shut up. She's hot. _All redheads are hot. _So she's hot! _Yes, yes, brain, she's hot! What else do you want me to say? I don't go after every hot person on the planet, though. I aknowledge the fact that Megan Fox is hot, but it doesn't mean I like her. Jennifer Aniston is hot. Angelina Jolie is hot. Hell, Ryan Gosling is hot! Do I go after him? No!

_Bt im hottr. Rite? -K_

_No. No, no, no. She's definitely hotter. _

Because anyone's hotter than Kaelie, right? Right? _No, you're right. Clary isn't hot. _Thank you! _She's beautifuuuul, right, Jace? _If you weren't my brain, I would kill you.

_Bt im ur grlfrend! -K_

_YOU WERE NEVER MY GIRLFRIEND!_

_Bt i am! -K_

_But you're not!_

_BUT I AM! -K_

_You have reached an entirely different level of stupidity._

Can we just ignore the fact that the whole thing got ugly when she put Clary into this? _No, we can't. _BRAIN. SHUT. UP.

0-0-0

_Time lapse: Saturday morning_

_Clary_

The day passes by pretty fast. I wake up at around eleven am, and watch _Doctor Who _downstairs until my mom calls me for lunch. She has made omelette today, along with a salad.

"Eat, eat. They don't feed you kids well at school." Which is true, because the school cafeteria is, well, disgusting.

"I'm eating, I'm eating."

It's silent for a while.

"So..." she says awkwardly.

"So..." I reply in the same tone.

"You told me yesterday you were going to a party, yes?"

"Yeah." I nod.

"Who'll bring you over?" She swipes a wet strand of hair off her forehead.

"Uh, I don't know. Isabelle, I guess." I shrug.

"Okay. I won't be home tonight, by the way. Stay safe."

I finish my food, thank my mom and go back to my _Doctor Who _marathon.

This is going to be a long night.

0-0-0

I slip into a white T-shirt with paint splattered over it and a pair of jeans, and I wait for Isabelle while watching some random TV show. I'm not even paying attention. I'm just trying to figure out ways into making Isabelle let me wear something other than heels.

My mom has already left, so I'm alone.

Soon enough, the doorbell rings, and I stand up to open the door.

In front of me stands Isabelle, with her inky black hair on a messy bun, wearing blue jeans and a one-shoulder white shirt with the words **I'M A LIMITED EDITION **printed on it with bright pink letters.

Wow. She looks great (and she's not even dressed up yet). As always, but, oh, well.

Girls like Isabelle Lightwood are the kind of girls you notice when they walk into the room. Hell, girls like Isabelle Lightwood are most likely to be models when they grow up. Now, I'm not going to lie and say that I'm not jealous of her. Because I am. You have no idea how much I would like to trade my curly red hair, green eyes and my freckles for her straight black hair, dark brown eyes and pale, unmarked face.

"Hey, Clary!" she greets me with a wave.

"Hey, Isabelle."

"So... Here's the make-up", she hands me a small, pale pink bag, I think it's called a necessaire, _but_ I'll just refer to it as the bag from now on, "and I'll go bring the dresses from my car."

"Uh, sure." I place the bag the table of the living room.

"Here they are!" Isabelle calls from outside. "I promise, you'll love yours!"

Oh, sure I will.

She comes back in. "Here is yours... Close your eyes!" I do as she says. "Okay, now open them." What I see in front of me... Well, it's...

It's a black, lacy dress that reaches mid-thigh. It's _all _lace. I need tights with that. TIGHTS. "You probably want tights with that."

"Yes, God."

"Then they're gonna be fishnet. Should we go to your room?"

"Yeah, sure. Oh!" I slap a hand to my forehead. "Sorry! I'm a terrible hostess! Do you want anything?"

"No, thanks."

I grab the make-up bag and we walk to my room in silence. Well, not in silence, since we can also hear those damn dogs barking from outside - I don't care if Jace likes them (how do I remember Jace likes them?), they're just... UGH. I'm a cat person. You know, the Tumblr cat person? Who cries over OTPs? Yeah, that one.

"Thanks a lot, by the way!" I tell her, smiling a bit.

"No problem." She smiles back.

"Do you mind... turning?"

"Oh, yeah." She does so.

I turn my back at her and pull my shirt off, leaving me in my bra and jeans. I take those off too and slide the dress over my body. I can't really see it, but I definitely need tights.

"Are you ready?" Isabelle asks.

"Yeah. Just let me wear my tights."

I walk over to my dresser and open a drawer. I search through the pairs of tights inside until I find a black pair of fishnet ones. I put them on.

"You can turn."

She turns around. "Oh, my God! You look great!"

"Thanks..." I look great? I look great? _I _look great? Me?

"On with the make-up!" She pulls the zipper of the make-up bag. "Sit!" I sit on my chair, closing my eyes. "You _will _wear high heels, right?"

"Yes", I say, since she's not going to take no for an answer.

I'm not going to pull the "I can almost feel the smile on her voice" crap, because I can't. But I know she's smiling. "Great."

0-0-0

"Done!"

"Ah, finally!" I groan, opening my eyes and rolling them.

"Go look at yourself."

Since I don't have a mirror in my bedroom, I walk to the bathroom.

There's black eyeshadow from the corner of my eye to a little before the middle, getting lighter and lighter as it reaches my tear duct, smokey eye, I think that is? I'm not one to know about make-up and crap. My eyes are lined with black eye-liner. My eyelashes appear lengthier, thanks to the mascara (which I hate to wear, but that's besides the point). I have blood red lipstick on, which, surprisingly, doesn't look bad. My hair is piled up in a curly ponytail, and - guess what - they're tamed, the curls, I mean.

I run back into the room.

"What do you think?" Isabelle asks.

"_That_ is pretty freaking amazing."

She smirks. "I knew you'd say that. Now, wait up. I'll get dressed, and you. You'll go wear the heels." She points to a pair of black heels, which I didn't even see she brought. "Jace will pick us up."

Oh, great. Because I just miss his innuendos so much!

0-0-0

Isabelle sits on the couch downstairs. She has chosen to wear a strapless black dress with angled rows of silver sequins, with black heels. She has done a purple smokey eye, and she has put on pink lipstick. She is wearing her hair in a fish-tail braid.

After she had put on her dress, she had insisted that we paint our nails. So, this is why I am now blowing on my nails, which are painted black. Hers are painted black, too, but with gold stripes.

"So... Now that we're not doing anything..." she pauses, looking for the right thing to say, "is Simon single?"

My eyed widen for a moment, trying to process what she just said.

"Yeah."

"Ooooh." She looks down, trying to suppress a smile. It doesn't work.

"You can squeal."

"OH, MY GOD, YES!" She throws her hands up. Just then, the doorbell rings.

"Well, that must be Jace", she says, dropping her hands from the air. "He's gonna love you. Like always."

Prepare for the sex jokes, Clary.

Wait. _He's gonna love you_?!

_Like always_?!

Uh.

Okay.

What the hell does she mean?

**A/N: So, now that it's over. I'm gonna annoy the hell out of people and post two snippets for the next chapter, but ****not in English****: **

_**"Ο Τζέις φάνηκε εξοργισμένος", σχολιάζει ο Τζόναθαν**__**, **__**φέρνοντας το ποτήρι στα χείλια του. "Φυσικά και φαίνεται εξοργισμένος!" φωνάζω, χτυπώντας την κορυφή του κεφαλιού του. "Άουτς!"**___** AND **_**Τον κοιτάω στα μάτια για ελάχιστα δευτερόλεπτα και μετά γυρνάω το βλέμμα μου προς το ποτό μου. Καθαρίζω το λαιμό μου."Εμ, Αλεξάντερ... Δεν ξέρω αν το κατάλαβες, αλλά το..." κάνω μια γρήγορη κίνηση προς το **_**χαμηλότερο **_**μέρος του με το χέρι μου, "φερμουάρ σου είναι κάτω." Κοιτάζει προς τα κάτω, κρύβοντάς το με τα χέρια του. "Μη φοβάσαι, δεν θα πω στο Τζέις για τα εσώρουχά σου με τις πάπιες. Αν και είναι ιδιαίτερα σέξι." "Έχεις κάτι με τις πάπιες;" "Μόνο όταν τις φοράς."**___**I'm not telling you what language that is, but, COME ON, you know what language that is.**

**Can I just say that I love every single one of you? I'm not even kidding. You are so supportive and kind and sweet. I have loved writing for a big part of my life, and I always thought my writing kind of sucked, and then I said "What the hell?" and published this thing. And then you guys reviewed and followed and favourited and just read this in general, and I was so, so, so happy. Happier than when I first tasted Nutella, if that's possible. So, to every reader out there, thank you so much. A shirtless Jace to you.**

**Review, please? They warm my heart and make me feel all write-y. Just a simple "Nice fanfic" can get my lazy ass on the bed and my hands on the keyboard (yes, I write on my bed).**

**What chapter was your favourite? Do you ship Sebimon or Simabelle (in this fanfic, not in the books)? ****What about that Jace/Kaelie text scene? Did it suck? I'm prepared for the flames. Jace's struggle with himself? His crush? Anything?****Do you like to screw around with canon, like me? Am I being annoying with all the questions? Yes, yes, I am. Sorry. Two more**** (****sorry)****: When you read TMI, or TMI fanfics, who do you see as Jace? I see Jamie Campbell Bower, if it wasn't obvious. You? And: Who do you think Maureen's daughter is? From the books, I mean. IT COULD BE ANYONE. TMI or TID.**

**ELBOW, ELBOW, FIST, FIST, CRY, BITCH, CRY, YOU JUST GOT DISSED!****Oh, man. You know that, right? I know the original's not like that, but I like this version better.**

**Yours truly,**

**the very weird and awkward author of this story, Marianna**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: THE SNIPPETS WILL BE USED NEXT CHAPTER. MY CAPS LOCK BUTTON IS ON. Sorry.**

**So, hey guys! I am back with another of my unfrequent updates! Someone, please slap me. *Hermione punches me* I SAID SLAP ME! NOT PUNCH ME LIKE I'M THE GUY YOU'RE MEANT TO BE WITH! Yes, I ship Dramione, guys. #sorrynotsorry Did I just use a hashtag on ? Yes, I did, because it's, like, 1 am where I live and I'm tired as hell. Now, enjoy this chapter (or don't), which was beta-ed by the lovely (did that sound creepy?) TheEternalDaylightingRanger, whose stories kick ass. BEST BETA EVER! WOO!**

**SHOUT-OUTS: TheEternalDaylightingRanger, JaceHerondale17, , TheDivergentMortalInstrument, Guest, Ayoungnovelist, Guest, xummy10, Jasmine, secr3tshadowhunter, TIDTMIgirl, MI cra-cra, Guest, LOVERGIRL, xojessica36, La Carta Esferica**

**Guest:****Thanks! ****Hope you like this chapter!**

**Guest: Awe, thanks! I literally awed out loud. That was so nice! Hope you like this chapter!**

**Jasmine: THE UPDATE IS HERE! WOOOOO! Hope you like this chapter!**

**TIDTMIgirl: Yay! You're Greek, too! Now, I don't feel alone. Not that there aren't Greeks in ff, but I don't think any other reviewer in this story is. Hope you like this chapter!**** Μόλις κατάλαβα ότι θα μπορούσα να το είχα γράψει στα Ελληνικά αυτό, αλλά τέλος πάντων. **

**MI cra-cra: So, we share a middle name. I'm completely insane too. It's all explained, it's aaaaall explained. ****Hope you like this chapter!**

**Guest: Cool! He's a nice actor. Hope you like this chapter!**

**LOVERGIRL: THE UPDATE, TA-DA! Hope you like this chapter!**

**SONGS: Tom Felton - Time Well Spent (A hundred points to Slytherin. Scratch that — give the House Cup to Slytherin. For the next ten years.) **_**-**_** Hedley - Perfect **_-_** Simple Plan - Welcome to my Life**

_Clary_

"Why, exactly, is Jace picking us up?" I ask her, right before I twist the doorknob.

"I came with Alec, and then he took the car. You'd think he'd take his, but no, he doesn't work that way."

"Oh."

Jace enters the house then, speaking on the phone. "Yes, Seb, I told y—" He freezes, looking at me like I'm some kind of werewolf or pegacorn or some crap like that. I swear, he could have seen a ghost and he'd have the exact same expression. "I'll call you back." he says into the phone, trying to close it hastily, never once looking elsewhere. "Bloody hell. You can't wear that!"

What?

"What?" Isabelle exclaims, placing a hand on her hip. "You can't tell her what to wear!"

"Well, technically, I can. Do you want slimy perverts looking at her like she's a piece of cake?"

It's actually cute that he's so protective. But why, exactly, is he so protective?

"She's fine!" She rolls her eyes and crosses her arms over her chest.

"No, she's not." He turns his gaze at me. "Don't take this the wrong way, you look stunning, but... please, don't wear that."

Stunning? Oh, so now that I'm wearing this I'm stunning? Oh, please.

"What the hell? Now that I'm wearing this I look stunning, but when I'm in my jeans and a T-shirt, I'm not? What is wrong with men? You go, playing it all 'Oh, I prefer the natural look', but when you see a girl in sweatpants and a sweatshirt, you don't bother glancing at her? You pig!" I shout, jabbing his chest with my finger. Over-dramatic much, Clary? Surely, he didn't mean it like that.

"I don't quite recall saying that you don't look stunning in jeans and a T-shirt. Please, quote it."

Oooooh. So. Um. Awkward moment. "Are you kidding me?" Look where you got yourself, Clary.

"Accept the compliment, Clary." Oh. So, a compliment from the sex god - oh, no. I did not just think that. Somebody, please murder me.

"It's my clothing, Jace." I turn away, but I feel his hands on my wrist and turn back. "What?"

"Are you really gonna wear that?" he asks. We're so close, he has to turn his head down to look at me. I take a step back, uncomfortable with our current position.

"Yes."

"Fine. Then stay close to me. I don't want you to get hurt." Awe, cute. Sort of, like, kitten-cute, but not kitten-cute, since he's not a kitten — my mind is so weird.

I give him a once over, "Okay." There's no point in arguing with him, anyway.

"Good."

That was weird. But cute. Weird, but cute.

Is he high?

"And..." Swallow your pride, Clary. Swallow your pride. "Thank you."

A small smile appears at the corner of his lips. "You're welcome." It wasn't that hard, was it? And it's kind of cute - SHUT THE HELL UP.

"So, anyway, guys, if you're done with the PDA, I'd like it if we go and pick up Simon now." Isabelle says, looking at her nails.

"You never mentioned I would pick the rat up!" Jace exclaims, his face in an annoyed expression.

"His name is Simon."

"And you're crushing on Rat Boy."

"What? Pfft. No, I'm not!"

See, here's the thing about Isabelle. Everybody knows when she's lying. She says "pfft", scratches the back of her neck and tries to change the subject. Even I know that, and I don't know her that well.

And here comes the scratching.

"Who else are you picking up?" Here comes the subject change.

"Sebastian. Jordan's coming either on his own, or with Maia. He had some stuff to do, or, rather, Maia to do, if you know what I mean." He moves his eyebrows up and down suggestively.

"You pervert." Isabelle rolls her eyes. "Magnus has been hanging around you too much. He's starting to act like you."

"How so?"

"He thought of dying his hair blonde, he makes too many sex jokes, he calls himself Magnus the Magnificent, and he got drunk and ran around town shouting 'I LOVE YOU, ADAM LEVINE!'"

"I—I've never done that!" Jace says, his face a mask of pure horror.

"No, you're right. You were wearing antlers on your head. And you were naked." At this point, I'm shaking my head, trying to clear the images of a naked Jace with antlers on his head running and shouting "I LOVE YOU, ADAM LEVINE!" Mostly the images of a naked Jace, because, well, you get me. Or, I can try to sketch it and show it to Simon — no, forget about it. I'm not drawing Jace's behind.

Wait.

Apparently, Sebastian, Isabelle and Simon are going to be in the same car. Oh, wow, that's gonna be so fun! Note sarcasm.

0-0-0

"Hey, Iz", Simon says, waving his hand. He's calling her Iz?

He looks at me in confusion, and then his eyes widen. "OH MY GOD CLARY IS THAT YOU WHO MADE YOU WEAR THAT WAS IT THAT ASSHOLE JACE I'M GOING TO FREAKIN'—"

"Simon, calm down!" I say, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Jace was actually against this."

"He was?" He raises both eyebrows (he can't raise an eyebrow to save his life, and neither can I, but that's beside the point) and stares at Jace in disbelief. "You know what? I actually have some respect for you now."

"Of course you do. My charms won you over, didn't they?" He tilts his head to the side and winks.

"Ugh. You're so cocky." Simon crosses his arms over his chest and rolls his eyes.

"Double meaning."

"Screw you."

"Double meaning again." he grins devilishly, "And Izzy says I'm the one making too many sex jokes."

"You bicker like an old married couple." Isabelle says, shaking her head slightly.

"Me and Goldilocks? No way. I'd rather have my boys cut off."' he tells her.

"Oh, please. You only wish you could be with this hot piece of man." Jace gestures to his body.

"If you don't shut up this instant..."

"What do you say we leave them here, take Jace's car and let them walk in the rain and declare their feelings for each other?" she whispers to me jokingly, chuckling at the end of the sentence.

"This is not slash fanfiction, Isabelle."

"What?" She seems genuinely confused. Is there really a girl in this entire planet who doesn't know what fanfiction is?

"Nevermind." I sigh and shake my head.

We end up doing exactly that. We figured, why the hell not? Jace and Simon are too engrossed in their argument to notice us leaving, and as such we get away easily. They can go and pick up Sebastian on foot; I'm honestly not in the mood to see Sebastian eyeing Simon.

"That was so easy!" Isabelle exclaims.

"I know, right?" I say, looking back at the door. "Can I drive? I need to take these shoes off. They're killing me."

"Uuuuugh. They're just heels." Just heels? These are freaking demon spawns, not heels! "But sure, whatever." YES!

0-0-0

_Magnus_

I honestly feel like a) I'm going to throw up from nervousness, b) sweat so much I'll have to change clothes, or c) wake the demons of hell with my fangirl-ish screaming. The reason?

Alexander Lightwood - I refuse to call him Alec when nobody's in front of us, why hide such a nice name? - will pick me up.

Now, I know this isn't such a major issue, but if the guy or girl you've liked for two years tells you he'll pick you up, you start doing a mental happy dance. I mean, when Jace liked Clary, he got super happy because he learnt that she didn't have a boyfriend. He was so happy, he didn't yell at me when I sang _You Are My Sunshine _to him. Well, he did try to throw one of Isabelle's heels at me, but she freaked out because they were Roger Vivier and she called him, uh, a "foul, loathsome, evil little cockroach!" Apparently, he made her watch _Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban_, and she felt the need to quote it every freaking time. I really wish she'd punched him like Hermione had punched Draco, though.

Oh, great, I'm rambling again! Nothing better than a good ole ramble!

And then, I hear it. That dreadful sound that every person fears.

The doorbell.

Deep breaths, Magnus. You don't want to faint and look like a total idiot.

I open the door, and I meet his blue eyes, who are, very conveniently, staring into mine.

I try to keep my voice cool and calm, and I succeed (I also do a mental fist pump). "Hello, Alexander!"

"Hey, Magnus." Sadly, his gaze lowers. Ah, damn. And I like his eyes. "I told you could call me Alec, you know. No formalities. We're pals." Pals? Pals?

No, seriously, pals? Why do I like him again?

"See, here's the thing. I like it when I call you Alexander. Alec's too plain for you."

_Clary_

We're currently inside the club, just watching the other people jumping up and down - correction, I watch the other people jumping up and down while I'm sitting on a bar stool. Isabelle's dancing around, much like a partying teenager does. Only, my feet hurt so much, I don't think I can even walk. And I've never even been the partying teenager.

"Hey, Clary, right?" I turn around, nearly forgetting I'm on a stool.

I face a blonde boy, who reminds me of Mr. Morgenstern a lot. Maybe because of his strong jawline, or his eyes, which are so black you'd call them pitch black, but not quite pitch black, more like anthracite or - argh, I'm not going to argue with myself over some guy's eyes.

"Yeah."

"Jonathan." Oh. That explains a lot. He's Mr. Morgenstern's son. No shit, Clary. "What brings you here?"

"Isabelle."

"Oh, the pain. She made you wear heels, I see." he says, pointing at my shoes.

"Yes." What's with the one-worded replies? I normally speak more.

"Jonathan! Truth or dare! Bring Clary!" Isabelle shouts, pointing to one of the storage rooms. Now, how are we going to play truth or dare in a storage room? Don't we need more space or something?

"Okay!" he shouts back, grabbing me by the wrist. "No point in arguing with her. C'mon."

I groan, rolling my eyes, letting him pull me unwillingly to that ominous door. He just chuckles.

**A/N: I cut it here, because I am evil. MWAHAHAHAHAHA. UUUUGH, I don't do evil laughs well. **

**Till next time,**

**Marianna**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: **(Important a/n in the bottom. Please, don't skip it.) **GUYS. I'M SORRY THAT IT'S BEEN A MONTH. Sorry. I suck majorly and I know it. Longer chapter, at least! It's, what, 3000 words? Or 2900? Somewhere around that. Major thanks to my beta, TheEternalDaylightingRanger, for helping me with everything. **

**Shout-outs: TheEternalDaylightingRanger, Married to an Herondale, Sara O. Su, i choose dare, spikeyhairgood, revinai'llbiteu, cathclacemaddian, 247Ice-creamLover, WildHeart22, Divergentdistricts, Guest, TIDTMIgirl, MI cra-cra, Jenna, LOVERGIRL, JaceHerondale17**

**i choose dare: You'll see. ;) Hope you like this chapter!**

**revinail'llbiteu: Oh, believe me, I didn't see that coming either. My crazy, crazy mind did, though. Hope you like this chapter!**

**Guest: I wish... *sigh* Their first kiss isn't going to be so soon, that's for sure. Hope you like this chapter!**

**TIDTMIgirl: Who isn't? Oh, I'm not alone, that's for sure. Hope you like this chapter!**

**MI cra-cra: Oh, he's not a scumbag. Or is he? Eh, not really. COHF is not out yet in my country. I'm getting it in two days and I can barely wait. I would have also left them behind. That's what they get for bickering. Hehe. Hope you like this chapter!**

**Jenna: It's here! Hope you like this chapter!**

**LOVERGIRL: Here's the update! Woo! Hope you like this chapter!**

**Songs: Bring Me The Horizon - Go to Hell, for Heaven's Sake (Dedicated to Dolores Umbridge.) ****\- - - ****Paramore - Decode **** \- - -**** B.o.B. ft Hayley Williams - Airplanes**

**Disclaimer: Forgot it on the previous chapter (oh, Lord, is someone going to shoot me with a rifle?). I don't own TMI, sadly. I have Jace tied up in my basement, though. Stalkers for the win. Just kidding. Or am I?**

* * *

_Simon_

My life is weird. First, Isabelle Lightwood decides to talk to me. Then, she befriends my best friend. And, after all that, she takes Jace's car and leaves me with him. Okay, maybe it's not my life that is weird, maybe it's Isabelle.

But what I know is that Jace Herondale is not a man you want to be stuck with when your crush and your best friend have taken your car.

"I hope you realized you said that out loud." Oops.

"Who, me?" I point at my chest. Wow, that's the stupidest thing I've ever said. Well, not actually. I've asked my mom whether or not babies come with the mailman, but I was eight, so we'll let it slide.

"No, the invisible man behind you." He rolls his eyes. Wow, nice attempt at sarcasm, Jace. That was _so_ cool and it does _not_ make me think you're getting rusty at this. Man, I think _I'm_ getting good at it. "Of course you. Who else?"

"You won't tell Isabelle, will you?" I plead, my eyes as wide as those of a deer's on the path of a train. He can't _tell _her. I'm going to die of shame! Oh, there I go acting like a pre-teen again.

"I think she already knows." Yep, here's the inner pre-teen again.

"Wow, so I'm that unlucky." I swallow, staring at the floor right beside his left foot.

"Just go for it, rat. It's not like I haven't noticed how she acts when I mention you." He shrugs.

"You know wha — wait. How does she act when you mention me?" Oh, this is good.

"How are you so oblivious?" He raises his eyebrow.

"I'm not oblivious."

"Yeah, right." He rolls his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Anyway. Let's just walk there," I say, trying to change the subject. Come to think of it, it is _very _out-of-character for me to say that. Walking is torture. Pure torture. I'd rather shave my legs than walk somewhere, and that's saying something because razors freak me out. "On second thought, let's call someone. Eric, probably."

"Eric...?"

"My friend, Eric. The crazy kid obsessed with his loins?" I'm not even kidding. You'd think his middle name was Loins.

"Oh, _that_ Eric. Will he agree to pick Sebastian up, too, though?" Wait. Oh, no no no no no. I feel like Darth Vader in that edit of Return of the Jedi. You know, the _NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO_ which ruined the whole thing and made us Star Wars fans want to scream profanities at him? Yeah, that one.

"Woah woah woah. No way. I'm _not_ getting in a car with him."

"He has a crush on you. He isn't threatening to kill you. Man up and face your fears."

"You're one to be talking about fears! When you admit you're crushing on Clary, I'll do my part." Maybe I shouldn't have said that. Oh, whatever. It's now or never. Hey, that rhymed!

"I don't have a crush on Clary!" Oh, please.

"Sure."

"Okay, maybe I used to." Woah. I didn't expect him to admit it that easily. Turns out, he didn't expect it either, because he has a grimace on his face that pretty much resembles biting into a brick. "Don't. Say. Anything. Turn a hundred and eighty degrees and go call your friend while I call Sebastian and tell him who's coming. If you say anything to Clary, I will personally make sure that your copies of the_ Lord of the Rings _are destroyed." No-one touches my _Lord of the Rings _copies. This is war, Herondale.

"THAT WAS BELOW THE BELT, YOU HEAR ME?!"

"Oh, wow, how did I manage to hit such a tiny target?" He smirks. The war is on, then. It's settled.

"Well, excuse me, but how would you know the size of my target?"

"You don't seem like a cobra."

"I beg to differ."

"If anything, you're a miniature ferret plushie."

"I strongly suspect that—" I am cut off by the sound of Jace's phone ringing. And I had the perfect comeback!

"Hang on. Oh, hey, Seb." Oh, great. "Yeah, we're on our way. Uh-huh. Oh, no, Merlin's bathrobe, don't do that." Merlin's bathrobe? "No, I won't stop saying Merlin's bathrobe. It's catchy and it fits with my obsession." Yeah, _catchy_. Sure, Herondale. "If you even think of doing that, you'll get a punch that'll knock you into next century. Oh, come on. Stop acting like a hormonal teenager! Oh, right, you are a hormonal teenager. My bad."

"While I love your bromance-tastic phone conversations, can you just shut up about the dude's bathrobe and tell him that Eric's coming?"

_Magnus_

When we're finally inside, I head straight to the bar, where Isabelle probably is. She isn't, though, which is strange because she loves her tequila, so I just sit on the stool. I'm not in the mood for a drink right now.

"Magnus!" Alexander shouts, pushing through the swaying bodies to get to me. "Magnus, have you seen Jace?" I perk up at the sound of his voice, turning my head to him with a smile.

"No, why?"

"He was supposed to be here, and you know how he gets when he's late. Do you think something happened to him?" He's anxious, I can see that. I mean, why wouldn't he be? One of his friends is late, so he must automatically assume that he's been kidnapped by monkeys addicted to sex.

Wow, the sarcasm is strong with this one.

"Anyway..." I look him in the eye for a minimal amount of seconds and then avert my gaze to my drink. I clear my throat. "Alexander, I don't know if you noticed, but your..." I motion my hand quickly to a lower part of his, "zipper is down." He looks down, covering it with his hands.

"Oops. Sorry."

"Don't worry, I won't tell Jace about your duck-themed underwear. Even though they're incredibly sexy."

"Do you have a thing for ducks?"

"Only when you're wearing them." I wink.

Yep, I love being flirtatious. Even though I don't have an odd fetish for ducks, but... yeah.

_Clary_

In the storage room, there's a rather small number of people, specifically: Jordan, Maia, Raphael Santiago, Helen Blackthorn, Aline Penhallow and Jaida Jones. I sit down between Helen and Jordan and watch until it's time for my doom. Why did I even agree to this?

"Maia, truth or dare?" Isabelle says, pointing at Maia.

Maia looks thoughtful for a moment. "Uuuuh, dare?"

"Wow, don't kill us with your enthusiasm, girl." She waves her hand in front of her. "Text a random number _I know what you did last summer_."

"Isabelle, that's lame," Maia tells her, clearly thinking aloud.

"Can you come up with something better?" Isabelle shoots back at her.

"Nah."

"Text it."

"Fine." She pulls her phone out of her jacket pocket - which I'm pretty much jealous of, since I'm freezing - and texts it to someone. "Done."

Her phone beeps, alarming her that she has a reply. "It says_ If that's Amy, then it was JUST a one- time thing. If it's Jane, look at Amy's. If it's Lily, babe, it's not what it looks like. _Wow, someone's a cheater." She shakes her head, rolling her eyes. "See? This is why we call men assholes."

"Yes, because everybody's the same," a voice drawls from the door. We turn our heads to see Jace, Simon, Sebastian and Simon's friend, Eric. It's not hard to understand who spoke, mainly because of the accent. Not because I can recognize Jace's voice anywhere, nope, _that_ is ridiculous.

"Well, not necessarily everyone, but you have to admit that at least a third of the guys on this planet is like him."

"Because women aren't able to be like that, eh?" Simon says, rolling his eyes. "We're not the only bad guys here."

"Wow, Lewis, we agree in something," Jace points out, nodding in approval.

"Somebody, pinch me. I think I'm dreaming! No, I'm having a nightmare!" Simon's face could very well be described as a "I-just-saw-my-parents-doing-the-dirty-and-I'm-extremely-horrified" face.

"So, anyway, uh, what are you guys doing?" Sebastian speaks up for the first time tonight. He puts his hands in his pockets awkwardly.

"Playing truth or dare," Jordan answers. "Come join us."

Why can't we play strip poker?" Eric says, grimacing when everybody turns to look at him. "Did I say that out loud?"

"Yes. Yes, you did," Jonathan says, nodding slowly.

"Oh, let's just start this," Jace tells nobody in particular, exasperated. He sits on the empty space next to Jaida.

"As much as it pains me, I agree with Urine-Hair." Maia points to Jace, who is doing an over-dramatic hurt face.

"I'll have you know, my hair is the color of gold."

"Which is also the color of urine."

"Urine is yellow."

"Gold's a shade of yellow."

"ALRIGHT, EVERYBODY, SHUT UP!" Isabelle shouts, raising her fist. "Jace, nobody cares about your hair."

"BLASPHEMY!" Jace gasps.

"Maia, stop taunting Jace about his urine-colored hair."

"That's gonna be a bit hard."

"It's gold!"

"Clary, stop being so quiet."

It suddenly dawns on me that I haven't said anything since Jonathan pulled me inside the storage room.

"Weird, she never shuts up," Jace points out.

"Oh, hush." I roll my eyes.

"As you wish."

"Maia, choose someone." Isabelle crosses her arms over the chest, showing that she's done talking.

"I'm going with Simon," Maia responds.

"I don't remember agreeing!"

"Ah, you'll do it anyway."

"Ugh. Truth." Oh, Simon, you have no idea. Maia can ask the most embarrassing questions that have ever been heard. She's not an evil genius or anything, but she _could _be if she actually wanted to.

"When was the last time you—"

"NOT THIS QUESTION!" He covers his ears with his hands and shuts his eyes. It's like he's going to start shouting "LALALALALALA" at the top of his lungs any minute.

"Get your mind out of the gutter, Simon." Maia rolls her eyes. He removes his hands and looks at her in confusion.

"That's not a very Maia thing to say."

"Since when is my name an adjective?"

"Ugh."

"Exasperated yet?"

"Very much."

"On with it!" Isabelle interrupts, suddenly looking very jealous. And I thought Simon was obvious about it.

"I don't even remember what I was going to say," Maia laughs. "Uh, okay. Who was the first person you kissed?" Oh, no. Seriously? She couldn't have picked a better time. Practically everyone is here. Jace, Isabelle... Okay, just these two. Ugh, why do I even care about Jace? He couldn't care less about it.

"Um, well, this is an awkward question." He readjusts the collar of his shirt. "Um, yeah, so, it's a funny story. Has Clary told any of you that she had a crush on me when she was fifteen?"

"Hey! I wasn't the only one with a crush. You had a crush on me, too." Spreading false information, huh?

"Irrelevant!"

"Totally relevant!"

"Okay, so, yeah, we kissed, and then we called it off because it felt like kissing my sister." Wow, Simon, I didn't know you were into incest.

"And that's the full story!" I add, suddenly feeling very uncomfortable. I don't even want to be reminded of it, honestly. Not that Simon's not a great guy, but we're just too alike to have a decent relationship. We make great best friends, but, other than that, there's nothing.

"Uh, Clary." Simon scratches the back of his neck.

"Truth." Safe choice, of course.

"Why do you like blonds so much?" Oh, that question.

"Because I'm blonde," Jace smirks. Beep beep! Hear that? Cockiness alert. "But honestly, it's just an excuse. She doesn't like _all _blondes. There's this particular lad." He gestures to himself.

"Excuse me, I have to go and vomit." I glare at him.

"Hot guys do make you puke." Simon gazes off into the distance. He is brought back to the world as we know it when I clap my hands in front of him. "What? I'm not implying that Jace is hot! I'm stating the fact that you puked out of... what's the word... nervousness each time you saw this guy in eighth grade!"

"It was _one _time!" I protest, crossing my arms over my chest much like a kid would. Okay, it was twice. Three times. Not over seven.

"We're getting out of topic. Now, why do you like blonds?"

"I don't like blonds," I mumble, staring at the floor.

"Clary, you swooned over Tom Felton. Guess what he is? Blond!" Ah, that one again. How many times do I have to explain it?!

"I like his eyes! There was this one close-up!"

"Okay, sure. Let me list some actors whose hotness you faint over: Chris Zylka, Alexander Skarsgård, Drew Van Acker, Ryan Gosling. What are they? Blonds." Wait. Does this mean that I like blonds?

Damn, I like blonds.

"Okay, you got me, I like blonds for some reason that I can't explain."

"This isn't even an answer, but I've embarrassed you enough, so..." Simon, come to die.

"Oh, you think? Jaida, truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"Would you kiss the person next to you?" On her right is Jace, on her left is Raphael. I think her answer is a no-brainer.

"Well, considering Jace is that person, sorry, but no. Raphael..." She smiles. "Nah, not a chance."

"Someone got rejected." Aline smirks at Jace.

"It's not rejection if I never asked her."

"It's still rejection."

"Aline, the poor guy has been tormented enough," Helen says, laughing a little. "He's been rejected twice in a month."

"Twice?" I raise my eyebrows at him. "Is someone losing their sexy blond mojo?" Someone, slap me. "_Not _that you have such a thing," I add quickly.

"So I have a sexy blond mojo?" He grins.

"Did you not just hear me?"

"Nice cover-up, Fairchild. I think it'll be in the newspapers. Clary Fairchild admits that Jace Herondale has sexy blond mojo." He has a smug look on his face and I'd really like to slap it off him.

"Who rejected you? Except Jaida." To the flames the smug look goes!

"I don't know. Jones's doesn't count, anyway, but I don't know what they mean." He gestures to Helen and Aline, who both smile.

"You'll figure it out on your own." What's creepy is that they said it at the same time. Wow, _The Shining_ much?

"Uh, Jordan! Truth or dare?" Jaida breaks in. I mentally thank her for that. What was I thinking? Sexy blond mojo?

"Dare."

"Um... Call a random number and freak the owner out."

"Piece of cake." He has a very,_ very _wide grin on his face. He pulls his phone out of his pocket and dials a number.

"Hey, I threw the body in the lake. What's next? Oh... Is this Bryan? No? My bad. Oops." He presses a button and ends the call. "See? Easy as pie."

"I never understood that saying," Jace says, looking thoughtful. "How can something be as easy as a pie? A pie isn't a game of chess, it's a food."

"Oh, that was _sooooo_ philosophical." I place my hand on my chest mockingly.

"Jonathan. Truth or dare?" Jordan asks.

"Dare."

"Kiss Clary."

Three "WHAT?!"s are heard. One mine, one Jonathan's, and the other, surprisingly, Jace's.

"Wow, Jace, calm down, I'm not stealing your boyfriend."

"Well, good to know, but I'm straight."

"You guys, you have to do the dare," Sebastian tells me and Jonathan.

I look around the room. Simon's eyes are twice their size, Jordan is smirking, Isabelle is fighting to hide a laugh, Raphael is raising an eyebrow, Maia is looking at Jordan like he's the smartest person in the world, Helen and Aline are biting their lips (I guess to stifle their giggles), Sebastian is looking at Jace with his eyebrows raised, Jonathan is facepalming, and Jace, well... He looks like he's about to murder someone.

"Can't I, like, postpone it?" What a stupid thing to say, Clary. What a stupid thing to say. It's a _dare_, not a _chore_.

"No, you can't postpone it. Do it." Sebastian nods his head towards Jonathan.

"Ugh, fine." It's not like I haven't kissed anyone before. Yes, only Simon, but still.

I brace myself for it.

_Jace_

I'm not mad.

I'm completely and absolutely furious. And that leads me to something I don't want to think about.

Is it possible that I have a crush on her again?

Ha. Ridiculous. Please, that's downright hilarious. But maybe I still do. It would explain my anger. Or is that jealousy? No. No way in hell. That's dangerous territory I'm getting in. She's Clary. Clary Fairchild. Clary "Pain-In-The-Arse" Fairchild.

Oh, not again!

I clench my fists, trying to contain said anger. And then, I get an idea. With the flashing lightbulb and everything. "You never said on the mouth." I'm a genius.

"Jace, you're officially my hero," Clary says, turning her head to look at me.

"Anything for you, Strawberry," I reply, adding the nickname so she takes it as sarcasm.

"Um... Cheek?"

"Yeah." Jonathan nods.

Awkwardness ensues. I think I'll change my middle name to "Genius".

_Isabelle_

Clace is happening. Clace is _so _happening. I mean, Jace seemed like he wanted to rip somebody's head off! If that doesn't shout jealousy, then I don't know what does.

"Jonathan, can I borrow you for a minute?" I ask, nodding my head towards the door.

"Sure."

When we're outside of the storage room, Jonathan begins talking. "Jace seemed furious!"

"Of course he seemed furious!" I shout, slapping him upside the head.

"Ouch! What'd I do again?"

"You did nothing. On second thought, you and Jordan did everything." My mind is just chanting _Clace Clace Clace Clace Clace_ over and over again. "Jonathan, my ship is happening!"

"Your... ship?" Of course.

"My ship. Short for relationship. It's when you want two people together, fictional or not. You're making Clary and Jace happen!" My smile is just too big for my face right now.

"Uh... okay? Now, let's go back in there." Ugh. _Boys._

"Okay, then."

We open the door to something I had never thought I'd ever see.

**A/N: CLIFFIE! You might be disappointed by it, though. I don't know.**

**I have been having major writer's block with this story. I would really appreciate it if you guys didn't stop reading because of the unfrequency (is that a word?) of the updates. I'm starting to write another story so the writer's block in this one can fly out the window. I haven't posted it yet, but it's not TMI, so, yeah. But I might start a TMI one, too. You never know. I don't know when I will update again, but I will try to do it once a week. Maybe on Fridays. Again, thank you for being so flipping awesome and not being harsh. **

**And another thing, I have edited the earlier chapters. I'll post them this week.**

**Can anyone recommend a couple of TMI fics for me? I'd love to see what you guys read. **

**Have a cookie if you can guess what the reference is this time. It's not subtle, is it? **

**Now, off to bed! Pip pip! (Or not. Off to a nightclub? To the beach? Just where **_**are**_** you guys?)**

**-Marianna **


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Um, hi? *waves awkwardly* I hope you guys started September off well. I wish you good luck on your school year/university year/job/whatever it is that you do. Sorry for being late on posting this. It's mostly a filler chapter, and I hope you enjoy it! :) Major thanks to TheEternalDaylightingRanger for beta-ing this! :) To all of you guys, go read ****_The Woman In The Painting _****if you haven't yet. And when I say "go", I mean "GO!" You don't want to miss an epic fanfic. You should also check out ****_As Lovers Go_**** by spikeyhairgood if you're in need of a human AU fic. I'm currently beta-ing it and the feels are drowning me. BUT IT FEELS SO GOOD! *sobs uncontrollably* Fangirl mode is taking over again. Gotta go!**

**Shout-outs: TheEternalDaylightingRanger, spikeyhairgood, NeonAngel, MI cra-cra, LOVERGIRL, MeSeesTheLight, JaceHerondale17, Guest, lolita is fandom crazy, Mer mer, Guest, Guest, Guest, Jenna, artistofthemind, lovedance02, booknerd1522, Kook, ishika07**

**NeonAngel: Thanks! But, it has been more an a month... *embarrassed smile* I really have to start pre-writing chapters. **

**MI cra-cra: I didn't catch the reference either. No, I'm being serious. I actually didn't see that until my beta pointed it out. It's from Princess Bride. "As you wish." Oh yeah, I love these three! The translation of COHF is still not out (I think), so I'm getting it in English. It's been four months, the translator needs to sort out her priorities. :P**

**LOVERGIRL: Thanks for the suggestion! :)**

**Guest: Yep. :P (Insert troll face here.) Just kidding, just kidding. :)**

**Guest+Mer mer+Guest+Guest: I updated! :)**

**Guest: Yep, Princess Bride. :)**

**Jenna: Updated!**

**Kook: Thanks!**

**ishika07: Oh, I don't know... ;) Read and see for yourself. :) Okay, I think that you know I'm not ****_that _****cruel.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Mortal Instruments. *insert grumpy cat here***

_Isabelle_

It's not every day that I see Jace parading around in his underwear. I mean, sure, he's arrogant and smug, and I bet he gets naked just to show off, but I make sure to never be around because there's a slight chance I'm going to reconsider liking brunettes and switch to the light side. Too bad that this stupid truth or dare game I set up just so someone would dare Simon to kiss me backfired and bit me in the ass. And then, just so it gets worse, there's a second bite in the ass (worse than a mosquito bite, mind you): even though it's not every day, it's_ today_.

_Damn._ If Clary doesn't jump on that—ew, ew, ew, what the hell did I just think? Someone, please slap me. And then decapitate me. And then slap my decapitated head. I can practically feel the vomit rising up my .throat. That's Jace. Screw the chest. Screw everything. I bet Simon has a body as nice as his. _No, you don't_. Yeah, I'm going to agree with the voice in my head. I don't. But I'm not attracted to Jace in the least. It's just raging hormones, people. Honestly.

Now, is there such a thing as brain chlorine? Because if there is, I want it. Might wash my impossibly hormonal outburst out of my brain. Ew. What is wrong with me?

But enough about me and my hormones. Let's focus on Clary instead.

_Shit_, she's redder than a jalapeno! More Clace evidence! I need my camera!

"Do you mind?!" Clary shouts, blinking multiple times at what I assume is an attempt at blocking him from her sight without actually closing her eyes.

"Do I mind what? Being in my underwear? Because if that's the case, no, I don't. I love it." He shrugs, a smirk occupying his lips. _Typical Jace. _

"The dare specifically said to remove an article of clothing. You could have chosen a sock or a shoe or a shirt, even, and you remove _everything _except your... your..." Hm, not being able to finish your sentence is a sign of a crush, right? Right? Please, let it be!

Clary runs a hand upon her face, deciding to rest it on her eyes. I'm waiting for one of them to peek from the space between her fingers like in those comedies, to be honest.

"I could pull those off, too, if you want me to," he says, his face completely serious.

"What the hell?!" Hey, she's not denying it.

"You're not denying it," Jace voices my thoughts, raising an eyebrow playfully.

"I _so_ am!"

"You so _aren't_!"

"Yes, I _am_!"

"Nuh-uh!" Kindergartner alert!

"_Yah_-uh!" Woah, two kindergartner alerts in less than five seconds!

"Stop flirting!" Maia rolls her eyes, trying to hide a smile and failing.

"We're not flirting!" Clary protests, crossing her arms over her chest. Another kindergartner alert. Sometimes, I wonder if we're really seniors or just five-year-olds in the bodies of seniors.

"Yeah, you are!" Sebastian tells her. "I can prove that, without a shadow of a doubt, you two will be together by the end of the year." For someone who doesn't like her, he doesn't seem to have a problem with talking to her like she's a buddy. Not that I mind, of course. It's nice to see Clary getting along with Jace's friends. _CLACE EVIDENCE!_

"Oh, really?" Clary raises her eyebrows as if to say _You wanna challenge me?_

"Yes, really. Let me list my reasons." He holds a finger up. "One. He's smug, you've got sass, you fit each other like puzzle pieces." Let's use _that_ cliché line again. It's not like it's unoriginal and boring or anything. Pfft, yeah, sure. "Two, you've got a temper, and he can make you lose it more easily than others. That leads to some of the hottest sex around." The jalapeno blush is here again. I shall dub it the 'Clary Blush'. "Three, 'sexy bad boy and innocent good girl' plotline, anyone?" Oh, I adore that one.

Clary snorts. "I don't see a sexy bad boy." Liar, liar, pants on fire. Or face on fire. Because... she's blushing... like a jalapeno... and jalapenos are hot... Oh, forget it.

Jace glares at her. "You lie a lot."

"You talk a lot," she says, almost defensively.

"You can't come up with a come-back, can you?" He shakes his head, rolling his eyes.

"_You can't come up with a come-back, can you_?" she imitates his voice, screwing up her mouth. Okay, how many kindergartner alerts are there going to be today?

"You're such a kid."

"You're such an ass."

"Oh, come on!" While I will never admit it publicly, ll agree with Jace. 'You're such an ass' is the worst comeback ever. Okay, maybe not worse than 'You're just jealous', but it's second in line. It's a _distant_ second, though.

Simon clears his throat, drumming his fingers on the floor. "Are you two done flirting?"

"We're not flirting!" Clary repeats her sentence from earlier, pursing her lips. "_So_ not flirting."

"Denial, denial, your love is a drug in a vial, his phone number you'll dial, can you show me an iranian rial?" Everyone turns to stare at Eric in confusion. He shrugs in response, looking uncomfortable. "What? It's no secret that I'm a poet!"

"Well that was... random," Jonathan comments.

"MY POETRY IS NOT RANDOMNESS!" he spits, putting his hands on his hips. "You wanna talk about randomness, Mister Switzerland?"

"I'm blond, Loin-Boy, not Swiss."

"When did I say you were cheese?" So, now he's losing his hearing, as well as his sanity.

"_Swiss_, not _cheese_!"

"Hah! I knew you were Swiss!" He shoots up, pointing his finger at Jonathan.

The blond groans, throwing his head back. "Silas, Stevie, Stephanie, whatever your name is, your friend is weird."

"Why would my name be Stephanie?" Simon asks, his nose scrunched up. Okay, am I being way too obsessive for thinking that it's cute?

He shrugs. "You look like a Stephanie." He doesn't look like a Stephanie, though.

"But I'm male."

"Yeah, but you look like a Stephanie," he repeats. I think Simon looks more like a Marcus. Or a Kylie, whatever floats your boat. Not a Kaelie, a Kylie. Like Minogue, or Jenner. If he was blond, he'd look like a Kendall. But not a Kendall Jenner, more like a Kendall Schmidt— ugh, what am I saying? He doesn't look like a Kendall Schmidt!

Am I seriously having this argument with myself?

I'm going crazy.

"He looks more like a Skylar," Jace points out, shrugging with his left shoulder. He's a Marcus-slash-Kylie-like-Minogue-not-Kaelie-Whitewillow-the-obsessive-younger-stalker, people! Ugh.

"Or a Bella," Raphael says, earning a "Nah" from everyone else.

I decide to voice my thoughts, but leave out the Kylie-not-Kaelie—you know what? I'm not even going to try saying that again. "What about Marcus?"

"Finally! Someone who suggested a male name!" Simon throws his hands up in the air (no, he's not saying "a-yeo"), looking like he's going to do a happy dance any minute.

"You still look like a Stephanie." Jonathan shrugs, giving his best _'Who the hell cares?' _look.

"_You're the _Stephanie," he shoots back, glaring at the blond.

"What's so wrong about the name Stephanie?" Maia asks, clearly amused.

"For the last time, _I_. Am. Male."

"So?"

"Screw all of you." He crosses his arms over his chest — wait, is that a pout I see? Alright, it's final. We're kindergartners in the bodies of seniors. I knew it. I _totally _knew it.

"Gladly." Yes, that was Jace. Who else but him?

"You do realize that what you just said points to a—"

I decide to cut Simon off before he says something utterly embarrassing and blushes the Clary Blush. Even though I really want to see that. "Anyway... Do you guys wanna do something else besides argue over Simon's given name?"

"But it's so fun!" Jonathan protests. I shoot a glare in his direction, hoping he gets the message of_ Don't mess with my future boyfriend or I'll kick that lily white ass of yours into next Friday_.

Needless to say, he does.

The rest of the night passes by in a blur, with Jace being a total flirt and Clary acting all squeamish. I don't care if they don't know it yet; they're crushing on each other. And no-one can ever change my mind. All I need is more clues. Isabelle Lightwood is going to crack this case, people! Bam!

Wait, what? _Bam_? Did I just pull a 'Simon'?

0-0-0

My alarm clock rings and I hastily try to drown it in its own selfishness with my eyes closed. How dare it interrupt my sleep!

I can't seem to find the cursed thing without looking for it, but I'm too lazy to do that because it's morning. And yes, that's a reasonable explanation.

My hand finds a furry surface and I hear a purr.

_Shit._

Who let Church sleep on my bed? Okay, it's final. I'm going to kill someone. Preferably Alec. His stupid obsession with revenge is getting annoying.

"Church, go awayyyyyyy!" I moan, my voice muffled from the pillow. The damn cat doesn't move, though, so I'll have to find another way. "Alec has food!" Nothing. "I think there are mice in the basement." Still nothing. "Oh, come on! What does a girl have to do to get some sleep, sacrifice a virgin?!" I've been watching way too much TV.

I turn so I'm lying on my back. Since I won't be able to go back to sleep, might as well wonder what the of life is with this furry demon on my side.

Alec's grinning face pops in from outside. "Morning, Sleeping Beauty."

"Did you do this?"

"Payback's a bitch." He seems very content with himself.

"I know whose bitch_ you _were last night." Snarky as hell even in my sleep. That's Isabelle Lightwood for you.

Alec's eyes widen. "Uh, I've no idea what you're talking about."

"I know about you and Magnus." Here's the plan: I freak him out and he stays out of my room.

"Uh, what?" He licks his lips, pursing them.

"I know what happened."

"What do you presume happened?"

I get ready for showtime. "He took you to a nice little motel." He keeps silent, but looks confused, so I move on. "He lied in bed, and took off his very expensive shoes." I grin widely, probably resembling the Cheshire cat. "Then, he motioned for you to come to where he was. And you did. You leaned in," I let out a short gasp, "and he whispered something softly, so softly you probably wouldn't have heard it if you weren't so close to him." I let my voice drop to a whisper. "You'd do anything for him. _Anything_. And you did it. Do you know what you did? Do you? It was very... I can't really describe it. You... " I wait from dramatic effect. "YOU MADE HIM A SANDWICH!" I throw my newly-found alarm clock at him, and he makes a weird face. "DO YOU HEAR ME?! YOU MADE HIM A SANDWICH! OUT OF ALL THINGS YOU COULD HAVE DONE, YOU DO _THAT_! NICE JOB DEGRADING WOMEN EVERYWHERE, ASSHOLE!"

"I'm not even female!"

"HUSH! JUST BECAUSE YOU AREN'T A WOMAN DOESN'T MEAN YOU DIDN'T MAKE THE DAMN SANDWICH! SCREW YOU, AND SCREW YOUR HAM, AND YOUR CHEESE, AND YOUR MAYO, AND THEN SCREW ALL OF THEM AGAIN, BECAUSE YOU MADE HIM A SANDWICH! GO STEP ON A LEGO!" Ouch! Harsh.

"Izzy, what did you drink last night?" He sighs, turning his gaze to the ceiling as if to say _Out of all weird siblings, I had to have _**_her_**_? _

I don't even pause. "LEAVE! I'M _THIS_ CLOSE TO THROWING CHURCH AT YOU! GO! NOW!"

"Iz, how is making a sandwich degrading women?" In all truth, it's just a sandwich. But I like freaking him out, so I just won't answer that and act like I'm crazy again.

"GOOOOOOOOOO!" I don't have to tell him again, as he rushes off, muttering something about crazy twin sisters and never remembering that he made a sandwich or went to a motel.

I lay back on my bed happily. Now that_ that _is done...

There's always that moment after waking up that I doze off and think of stuff I usually push to the back of my brain and never think of. Like that time I saw Alec walking around naked in the house (I was never really the same after that).

Other times, I just solve my problems and then fall back asleep. Now that I consider them, I'd much rather see my grandfather naked than solve them (ew, by the way?).

But the thing is... I find myself lying a lot. About mostly non-important issues, but it's a lie nonetheless. To _Simon_, of all people. I mean, think about it. I don't even watch anime._ I might have watched an episode or two_, I said. _My brother, Max, likes it_, I said. Bullshit. Max doesn't watch _Bleach_. Mom won't let him for some reason. He mostly has _Death Note _on repeat, and I've only watched ten seconds of that because I was in the kitchen, snacking on Pringles. Those chips are the shit, by the way. Thankfully, people think I can't lie. It's so much easier to do so when they think that.

But it's not right. What if this high school fling (if it even becomes a fling) isn't just a high school fling and we end up getting married? _"Oh, Iz, the umpteenth episode of _Bleach_ is airing, let's watch it."_ What am I going to say then? _"I don't actually watch _Bleach_, honey. I just said it so you'd approach me and not feel totally weirded out." _How many seasons does the stupid thing have, anyway? Let's say I was interested in it, how many episodes would I have to catch up to? This is so confusing! I feel like banging my head against the wall.

I better go and tell him. Better now than never.

_At least you'll be honest. _

**_But embarrassed. _**Are those the angel and the devil on my shoulders or am I just sleeping again?**_ I'm not a devil. I'm just a really stylish angel-gone-bad. I'm pretty sure you can't see a red tail._**

_Tell him! _

**_Don't you dare tell him. So what if you lie? It's a harmless little lie. It can't hurt that much. _**

_Of course it does, you sicko! _

**_Don't call me a sicko, you goblin. _**

_We're the same height! _

**_Only when I'm not wearing my heels. If you actually wore any of them, we would be._**

_I like flats. _Flats?! I'm going to consider siding with the angel-gone-bad. _If I wear heels, will you tell the cute nerd that you lied? _

**_ARE YOU BRIBING HER?! _**

_Maybe._

**_Man, you have a lot to learn from me._**

_No, thanks._

**_As you wish. _**

_See, now, you're purposefully using _Princess Bride _quotes so her feelings will explode and she'll side with you._

**_Now, you get me._**

I'll tell Simon.

**_WHAT?!_**

_Yay!_

**_What do you mean by "yay"?_**

_I mean yes...?_

**_I got that, stupid. I mean what do you—I'm not even gonna try._**

_Well, don't. No-one asked you to._

**_Sneaky little—_**

I'm awoken once again, this time by Max saying my name repeatedly.

"What?"

"Mom says you should go downstairs, or else Alec will eat all the pancakes," he says, with that innocent air most nine-year-olds have.

"But Alec's going to eat all the pancakes anyway."

He shrugs. "True. But you don't want to face mom's wrath, do you?" Mom's a pretty scary woman when she wants to be. Max calls it 'The Wrath of Mom' or something. Or was it 'The Mom of Wrath'? Like _The Grapes of Wrath_, but with mom. I don't know, nine-year-olds are weird, don't expect me to decode everything they say.

"Tell her I want to sleep."

He nods and runs downstairs. I close my eyes, almost falling asleep yet again, but he's up in less than a minute. "She says that you need to eat."

"Tell her that I'm not hungry."

He sighs and goes downstairs again, returning with yet another message. "She says that she knows when you're hungry." How would she know? Does she live in my stomach?

"Tell her—"

"I'm not a post office!" he shouts, pouting a bit. "She says 'go downstairs', and that's what we're both gonna do. So, get up." He motions for me to get up with his hand, trying to keep a serious face.

"You try partying till three AM and I'll show you just how content you'll be with waking up," I mutter, getting off the bed.

"I _have_ pulled an all-nighter, you know!" he says, grinning widely.

"Really, kid?"

"Yeah! I stayed up reading—"

"Let me guess, manga," I finish for him, and he nods twice.

"Izzy, are you psychic?"

I laugh, ruffling his hair. "Maybe." I know I predicted that Jace and Clary will get together by the end of the year, so yeah, maybe I'm psychic. SINCE IT'S DEFINITELY GONNA HAPPEN! HELLOOOOO! Oh, I'm being a crazy fangirl again.

But I love it.

0-0-0

After eating, I decide to call Jace and wake him up. I changed his ringtone last night, so instead of playing his usual one, it plays one of those boybands he hates.

I have him on speed dial, so I just press the call button and let my phone do the rest.

He picks up, and I prepare myself for the complaining. "WHAT THE HELL, IZZY?! I SCORE YOU A DATE WITH RAT-BOY AND YOU PUT _THAT _ON MY PHONE?" Hey, it is a pretty good prank — wait. Did he just say what I think he said?

Do I have a date with Simon?

Am I able to squeal and jump up and down without mom thinking I drank too much last night?

Am I doing said thing right now?

Answer one: Probably.

Answer two: No.

Answer three: Yes.

"WHY DO I NOT REMEMBER THAT?!" I ask, trying to calm myself down.

"Oops. Um... I can't hear you! Bye Izzy! SEND MAX MY INFINITE LOVE! Krkrkrrkrkrkrkr." I can't believe he just tried that trick.

But wait... How do I have a date with Simon? And why is it a secret?

Why'd you gotta go and make everything so complicated, Jace?

Why am I using Avril Lavigne lyrics?

Why do I ask myself so many questions?

You'll find out on the next episode of _Keeping Up With The Lightwoods_!

Oh, great, now I'm making trailers for non-existent reality shows. Someone, please stick a fork in my neck.

"IZZY! I'M PRETTY SURE YOU DRANK A LOT!" Alec shouts from downstairs. He's just waiting for me to humiliate him, isn't he?

"SHUT UP, ALEC!" Yep, he's doing just that. "MAY I TELL EVERYONE ABOUT THE SANDWICH INCIDENT?" The Clary Blush, The Sandwich Incident... Man, I'm good at naming stuff.

"THAT NEVER HAPPENED!" Okay, it didn't, but it was still fun to narrate.

"WHAT'S THE SANDWICH INCIDENT?" Max shouts, obviously very confused. I chuckle a little.

"YOU DON'T WANNA KNOW!"

"I'M PRETTY SURE I DO!"

"YOUR POOR, INNOCENT MIND SAYS OTHERWISE!"

"MY MIND CAN'T SPEAK!"

I know that it feels corny and cheesy at a time like this, but I'm just going to say it.

I love my brothers.

Even though they're total pains sometimes.

I just ruined the lovey-dovey moment, didn't I?

**A/N: Any thoughts? Thanks for reading, and see you later! :)**

**And the sandwich incident... yeah, I just needed the weirdness of that, I didn't intend it to be funny and I'm not surprised if you feel the same way. Just to clear it up, it didn't actually happen. Malec goes further than a sandwich, people! *angry emoticon***

**(And yes, "he's not saying a-yeo" was a reference. That song is stuck in my head.)**

**(Do we have any Stephanies here?)**

**~Marianna**


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